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Dark Poetry #4
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Tempest
Member
since 2006-04-28
Posts 247
dont eat paint chips!!!!

0 posted 2006-09-05 08:28 PM



Just like yesterday
My thoughts start slipping away
And every night
Its like suiside
To try to forget
What those words really ment

My hand slowly falls
From my heatrt to to the floor
And I scream to myself
What am i waiting for

Im on my knees
Screaming to the sky
Why am I
Living to die

© Copyright 2006 Bryan Girton - All Rights Reserved
nostalgic*pride
Member
since 2006-08-23
Posts 122
NowhereVille
1 posted 2006-09-06 04:51 PM


Wow, that was great. Several typos here and there, but nothing masive. LOVED IT!
lanaia74
Member
since 2006-08-25
Posts 67

2 posted 2006-09-07 08:17 AM


WELL DONE!
stargal
Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352
OR USA
3 posted 2006-09-08 09:10 AM


Umm.. I can only agree with what everyone else said though! It's an amazing poem, a great write, I loved the ending. Actually, my favorite part IS the ending, just the last line, it ends in a strong way...

Plus I do agree on fixing the spelling errors, they are kind of annoying, no offence...

Thanks for sharing

"I pray thee, O God, that I
may be beautiful within."
–Socrates
                     @-->---

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