navwin » Archives » Dark Poetry #4 » 1st post here - Father Passed On
Dark Poetry #4
Post A Reply Post New Topic 1st post here - Father Passed On Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Venus1974
Member
since 2006-07-15
Posts 79
Tennessee, USA

0 posted 2006-07-15 10:50 PM



FATHER PASSED ON

There I saw her, I was on my way home
There I saw her, seeming so all alone
I called her name and she turned around
and I saw it all in her frown
She didnt have to say a word I could read it on her face
that daddy went to be in another place
Then before I reached her she said "Daddy's dead"
and I can remember that but, not another word she said.

Then I reached the apartment and went to mama's room
there she was in the darkness her face filled with gloom
You could tell she'd been crying and I went and held her and said " I heard"
But what did they think I would do at that moment?
I couldnt cry
and I was too afraid to try
What do you think of me now?
Do you think I am horrible and mean?
Did you think I would always hate you and never ever love you again?

There I was in a room full of people, there I was feeling all alone
All I could see were unfamiliar faces, there I was wanting to run home
and I ask you just what did you think I would do?
Did you think I'd stand there and believe it was true ?
Did you know I wondered if it was really you?

Time had passed on and so had you
times had been hard and still are too

Sometimes at night I dream of you and wonder what it means and miss you once again.

I didnt think I could love you but, I see you're still in my heart
and wonder if you know I have a family of my own well, at least part.

Sometimes I wondered if you ever cared
but, to ask you, I didnt dare.

Clips of memories flood my mind, tears of memories flood my eyes

How did this happen?
How did this day come?
Why do I try to make it all fit?
Why am I troubled even with this?



Peace and happiness to us all, Venus

© Copyright 2006 Davina Prill - All Rights Reserved
stargal
Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352
OR USA
1 posted 2006-07-16 12:03 PM


Wow... All I can really say is Wow! This was an amazing poem, I really liked it. I could relate well to this except it wasn't my father...

At first though, I was wondering how the start was going to play out, I didn't understand how the first few lines had anything to do with "your" father passing on. I think that, when I read further, you did a wonderful job with wrapping it all together. Making the poem make sense.

"Sometimes I wondered if you ever cared
but, to ask you, I didnt dare. "


I loved this part, I wondered and didn't ask the same thing. I can relate well to this...

Btw, WElcome to piptalk! I hope you enjoy the site. It's always nice to see a new face.

Great job on this, i'd love to read more

@-->---

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
2 posted 2006-07-16 11:21 AM


Venus~
Welcome to the wonderful blue pages of PiP~

*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*The sound of a kiss is not as strong as that of a cannon, but it's echo endures much longer*~
Email -       noles1@totcon.com       

Venus1974
Member
since 2006-07-15
Posts 79
Tennessee, USA
3 posted 2006-07-20 12:34 PM


Thank you both

Peace and happiness to us all, Venus

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Dark Poetry #4 » 1st post here - Father Passed On

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary