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Dark Poetry #4
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Written in tears, Written in blood
| Dark Poetry #4 |
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Written in tears, Written in blood |
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Digital_Hell Member
since 2006-06-05
Posts 202Amidst black roses |
The quill falls from nerveless fingers in the still air rings of the death knell An empty broken heart has given up at last This is the last fatal gasp To begin at last the fatal descent With a spirit that is even in death broken and bent Living in an empty and desolate place To see that your life is nothing but a waste From having your innocence lost To having found love in realisation, Tears falling in a flood A life, a tale Written in tears, Written in blood To meet the keeper of lost souls And see that even he is shocked by your lifes goals But to know that he cannot claim you For you are bound by chains of suffering of hate To hear the haunting echoes of long forgotten ghosts The footsteps of a forgotten past a life of shattered hearts and broken dreams Written in tears, Written in blood Now as the sweet dreams fade become nightmares filled with screams Remember to fill your mind with hate and think of how this was fate True love has come and gone And in the internal struggle darkness won As memory of you fades and you join your friends, your shades Remeber yours is a sad life a tragic tale Written in tears, Written in blood |
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
"To begin at last the fatal descent With a spirit that is even in death broken and bent Living in an empty and desolate place To see that your life is nothing but a waste From having your innocence lost To having found love in realisation, Tears falling in a flood A life, a tale Written in tears, Written in blood To meet the keeper of lost souls And see that even he is shocked by your lifes goals But to know that he cannot claim you For you are bound by chains of suffering of hate To hear the haunting echoes of long forgotten ghosts The footsteps of a forgotten past a life of shattered hearts and broken dreams Written in tears, Written in blood" I loved this part in the poem, I like how they all blend together. Cause you know how in some poems they'll say something that doesn't really fit in the poem? Well this one didn't do that and I liked that it didn't... I especially liked in the poem how you kept the title running throughout. It wasn’t too often yet just enough that we understand why you titled this what you did… great job!  @-->--- |
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trUstNooNe Member
since 2006-05-21
Posts 91 |
"True love has come and gone And in the internal struggle darkness won As memory of you fades and you join your friends, your shades" my favorite part. i loved it you had emotion both positive and negative,which you had a great combination of the two....i love it |
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the quell Member
since 2006-07-19
Posts 144Liverpool, UK |
ooh; very haunting, strange imagery, and I loved the repitition of 'written in tears, written in blood'; I don't really know why but I found that line really effective, I can see why you used it as the title. This actually gave me shivers you're good |
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Bobomo Junior Member
since 2006-07-15
Posts 35 |
Very good indeed "The quill falls from nerveless fingers in the still air rings of the death knell An empty broken heart has given up at last This is the last fatal gasp" The opening really impressed me. I think you captured the instant love dies very well. The gasp...the final release of life.. Well done! |
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