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Dark Poetry #4
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Digital_Hell
Member
since 2006-06-05
Posts 202
Amidst black roses

0 posted 2006-06-30 04:48 PM


The quill falls from nerveless fingers
in the still air rings of the death knell
An empty broken heart has given up at last
This is the last fatal gasp

To begin at last the fatal descent
With a spirit that is even in death broken and bent
Living in an empty and desolate place
To see that your life is nothing but a waste

From having your innocence lost
To having found love
in realisation, Tears falling in a flood
A life, a tale
Written in tears, Written in blood

To meet the keeper of lost souls
And see that even he is shocked by your lifes goals
But to know that he cannot claim you
For you are bound by chains of suffering of hate

To hear the haunting echoes of long forgotten ghosts
The footsteps of a forgotten past
a life of shattered hearts and broken dreams
Written in tears, Written in blood

Now as the sweet dreams fade
become nightmares filled with screams
Remember to fill your mind with hate
and think of how this was fate

True love has come and gone
And in the internal struggle darkness won
As memory of you fades
and you join your friends, your shades

Remeber yours is a sad life
a tragic tale
Written in tears, Written in blood




© Copyright 2006 Digital_Hell - All Rights Reserved
stargal
Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352
OR USA
1 posted 2006-07-02 01:44 AM


"To begin at last the fatal descent
With a spirit that is even in death broken and bent
Living in an empty and desolate place
To see that your life is nothing but a waste

From having your innocence lost
To having found love
in realisation, Tears falling in a flood
A life, a tale
Written in tears, Written in blood

To meet the keeper of lost souls
And see that even he is shocked by your lifes goals
But to know that he cannot claim you
For you are bound by chains of suffering of hate

To hear the haunting echoes of long forgotten ghosts
The footsteps of a forgotten past
a life of shattered hearts and broken dreams
Written in tears, Written in blood"


I loved this part in the poem, I like how they all blend together. Cause you know how in some poems they'll say something that doesn't really fit in the poem? Well this one didn't do that and I liked that it didn't...

I especially liked in the poem how you kept the title running throughout. It wasn’t too often yet just enough that we understand why you titled this what you did… great job!

@-->---

trUstNooNe
Member
since 2006-05-21
Posts 91

2 posted 2006-07-19 11:22 AM


"True love has come and gone
And in the internal struggle darkness won
As memory of you fades
and you join your friends, your shades" my favorite part. i loved it you had emotion both positive and negative,which you had a great combination of the two....i love it

the quell
Member
since 2006-07-19
Posts 144
Liverpool, UK
3 posted 2006-07-19 12:10 PM


ooh; very haunting, strange imagery, and I loved the repitition of 'written in tears, written in blood'; I don't really know why but I found that line really effective, I can see why you used it as the title.
This actually gave me shivers
you're good

Bobomo
Junior Member
since 2006-07-15
Posts 35

4 posted 2006-07-19 05:28 PM


Very good indeed

"The quill falls from nerveless fingers
in the still air rings of the death knell
An empty broken heart has given up at last
This is the last fatal gasp"

The opening really impressed me. I think you captured the instant love dies very well. The gasp...the final release of life..

Well done!

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