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Dark Poetry #4
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Trixy
New Member
since 2006-06-14
Posts 4


0 posted 2006-06-14 05:30 PM



The dark water continues to rise
As I swim towards the shore
The waves engulf me,
I'm ready to die once more
But I don't give up
I fight back to the top
Only to be pulled back down
The temptation to quit overtakes me
And the water flows red

© Copyright 2006 Trixy - All Rights Reserved
Jess
Member
since 2006-06-06
Posts 243
Washington
1 posted 2006-06-14 05:48 PM


Silly rabbit, trix are for kids! Welcome to Passions Trixy. Interesting first post. I kept thinking it would go one way, and then it went another.
Sorrow
Member
since 2006-06-14
Posts 83
Ireland
2 posted 2006-06-14 08:50 PM


I love the feel of frustration in your poem.
trUstNooNe
Member
since 2006-05-21
Posts 91

3 posted 2006-06-14 10:58 PM


i like it i could imagine it in my head...very nice
Philmont
Member
since 2004-01-10
Posts 61

4 posted 2006-07-13 01:36 AM


can't resist helping a little guy.  Good read.
stargal
Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352
OR USA
5 posted 2006-07-14 09:45 AM


Hey Trixy,

Welcome to piptalk, I hope you like the site!

Umm, yes, I have to agree with all the other posts. The ending and things were different, I kept thinking something else would happen but than it changed. Very interesting first post...I liked it though.

Thanks for sharing

@-->---

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