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trUstNooNe
Member

since 2006-05-21

Posts 91

0 posted 2006-06-02 02:51 PM

The darkness I dream about.
I tucks me in and gives
me a deadly kiss goodnight.

I'm surronded by it,
not knowing how to get
rid of it. But at the same
time almost wishing it
would stay.

Wrapped inside it's twisted
world of revenge, hate, and
dismay. I can see my self fading
away. I'm now barely holding on
to reality, yet slipping just
slightly with every step i take.

I know it's killing me,
but I'm going to have to take
that chance. To prosper through
the darkness, I'll bet my life
on that.

niere
Member

since 2006-04-23

Posts 77

1 posted 2006-06-03 02:07 PM

I really like this. You make the situation seem so inescapable for many reasons...
Alot of emotion here too.

A great write.

p.s - i've barely been here 5 minutes myself, but welcome anyway lol.

Digital_Hell
Member

since 2006-06-05

Posts 202
Amidst black roses

2 posted 2006-06-06 05:26 PM

very cool. you capture the essance of what it is to be lost in your own darkness. to be unable to reach out for hope.

Venus1974
Member

since 2006-07-15

Posts 79
Tennessee, USA

3 posted 2006-07-28 11:09 PM

Can relate a lot to this too Good write thanx for sharing

Peace and happiness to us all, Venus

Sorrow
Member

since 2006-06-14

Posts 83
Ireland

4 posted 2006-07-30 01:00 AM

"I'm surronded by it,
not knowing how to get
rid of it. But at the same
time almost wishing it
would stay." - this line really jumped out at me. I feel that I'd be some how saddened if all the darkness I feel just left me. It's hard to explain but I feel like it's part of me, if that makes any sense. Anyway, excellent piece.

greysolace
Member

since 2006-03-27

Posts 71

5 posted 2006-08-01 05:04 PM

i like how u wrote it in paragraph kinda things. to me, it emphasizd the feelings. speakin of which, they were awesome! this poem is truly amazing. lovin the hopelessly trappd feel. i applaude u *claps*

~~Poetry is written emotion~~
greysolace
amaya the phoenix

perfect stranger
Member

since 2006-05-29

Posts 54
on cloud 9

6 posted 2006-08-07 02:37 PM

brilliant the hairs were standing up on the back of my neck, just love it.

David D Jerald
Member

since 2006-08-07

Posts 74
Tucson, Arizona

7 posted 2006-08-07 06:05 PM

Dear trUstNooNe, a quote for you

To be a star, you must shine
your own light, follow your own
path and don't worry about the
darkness for that is when stars
shine the brightest.
Unknown

Good luck my friend and good poem. Keep writing and your words will light your way.
Dave

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