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Dark Poetry #4

porcelain rhythm.

niere
Member

since 2006-04-23

Posts 77

0 posted 2006-04-23 04:48 PM

Translucent mortal,
worry the wild-
The universe young,
she's innocent.
You will listen once her velvet
wounds seethe unhidden
through human life.
Consequence.
Awake in cloying moisture-
The misleading poison of ecological
vengeance.
Forget not!
You have been warned (again)-
For she will pierce you
just like you've pierced her
porcelain rhythm.

Kaos
Member

since 2001-08-02

Posts 317
between space and time

1 posted 2006-04-24 11:24 PM

"You will listen once her velvet
wounds seethe unhidden
through human life."

Intense. I like the word choice you used for this, nice fresh words aside from some of the over played words used sometimes.. excellent write

Life is a torment and torment an enigma. So burn the shackles of slavery and let love run free
-i wrote it somewhere in time

playing.with.crayons
Member

since 2006-01-02

Posts 362
Neverland

2 posted 2006-04-25 04:03 AM

and what an entry!
a very excellent first post indeed.
welcome to Pip!

Marge Tindal

Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-06

Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores

3 posted 2006-04-25 10:29 AM

Niere~
Welcome to PiP !!!

*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*The sound of a kiss is not as strong as that of a cannon, but it's echo endures much longer*~
Email - noles1@totcon.com

niere
Member

since 2006-04-23

Posts 77

4 posted 2006-04-25 02:49 PM

wow... thank you all so much. i don't think i deserve any praise lol, especially from such talented writers....
but i am truly touched - thanks

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