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Passions in Poetry

He Is Gone (senyru challenge)

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icebox
Member Elite
since 05-03-2003
Posts 4246
in the shadows


0 posted 12-16-2005 10:49 AM       View Profile for icebox   Email icebox   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for icebox


in the dreaming years

below the City’s surface

no taste of sunlight


we chased the Dragon

babies in awareness’ night

death came home to rest


ideas in ashes

your body freely scattered

all your dreams released


©2005 by icebox
© Copyright 2005 icebox - All Rights Reserved
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 09-21-1999
Posts 28608
California


1 posted 12-16-2005 11:28 AM       View Profile for Martie   Email Martie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Martie's Home Page   View IP for Martie

icebox

Brian James
Member
since 06-26-2005
Posts 147
Winnipeg


2 posted 12-16-2005 02:32 PM       View Profile for Brian James   Email Brian James   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Brian James

I like the opening, the closing, the whole durned thing.  It seems difficult to create atmosphere in so few lines.

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


3 posted 12-16-2005 02:38 PM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

Sometimes I curse this medium, even knowing that it blessed me as it allowed me to "meet" so many beautiful souls such as yourself, and yet there is still the undeniable curse that I cannot hold your hand or give you hugs, to offer solace when my words fail me.

Enchantress
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since 08-14-2001
Posts 37801
Somewhere in time~


4 posted 12-16-2005 07:56 PM       View Profile for Enchantress   Email Enchantress   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Enchantress


littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 03-02-2003
Posts 9998
New York


5 posted 12-16-2005 11:50 PM       View Profile for littlewing   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for littlewing

Gosh, this brought me many smiles to see this challenge brought back up, although I don't moderate anymore, still makes me smile, even moreso.

Thanks icey.

And this?

Well, you won!   *laughing*

This form is something that slips through my fingers . . . I have to really WORK on writing these . . . and yours is amazing - all of them.

I bow to you, sir.  
tracie66
Member Elite
since 01-18-2000
Posts 4587
Victoria, Australia


6 posted 01-02-2006 06:03 AM       View Profile for tracie66   Email tracie66   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit tracie66's Home Page   View IP for tracie66

excellent! you have the challenge down pat...well done!

~hugs~
Tracie

Love is the life of the soul...
It is the harmony of the universe


Purple Poet On Wheels
Member
since 06-21-2002
Posts 146
Pittsburgh/Edinboro, PA


7 posted 01-02-2006 11:27 AM       View Profile for Purple Poet On Wheels   Email Purple Poet On Wheels   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Purple Poet On Wheels

Interesting wordplay Mr. Icebox
 
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