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Dark Poetry #4
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vampiana
Member
since 2004-09-08
Posts 296
Nothing and Nowhere

0 posted 2005-11-26 09:50 PM



All so intoxicated
wasted, i'm blind
And your lips find mine, i taste tongue
but it's wrong.
So i push you away, but they're back again.
More insistant.

And I cried - this is wrong, this is wrong.
You killed the romance
so wasted, i'm blind
these lips - yeah they don't fit the puzzle.
But i'm tired, yet wired.
what else, but return the favour?

Still the taste isn't right, and my eyes are open
there's no romance here, where'd you put those hands?
My eyes are open.
And where'd the boy in the zeppelin shirt go?

So now i'm sitting, though you're still kissing my neck.
and it feels so wrong - no romance here.
you're taking the advantage - and i let you. just blame me.

And where'd the boy in the zeppelin shirt go?
yeah, where'd he go? where'd he go?

I push your wretched lips from me
and i run, yeah, i run, i run, i run...
searching for the boy. the boy and the romance in the black zeppelin shirt.

Crying, i'm crying, collapsing
against the cold wall on the hard tile floor.
and too much vodka makes you sick.
Where'd the boy in the zeppelin shirt go?
I crave his arms, just hold me, please hold me.

boy in the zeppelin shirt, where'd you go?
    i need to feel.
        your embrace
             just one last time. one last time.


The greatest thing you'll ever learn, is just to love and be loved in return.

[This message has been edited by vampiana (11-26-2005 11:40 PM).]

© Copyright 2005 Kirsty - All Rights Reserved
vampiana
Member
since 2004-09-08
Posts 296
Nothing and Nowhere
1 posted 2005-11-26 11:50 PM


oh yeah, this is more of a song than a poem..

The greatest thing you'll ever learn, is just to love and be loved in return.

silhouetted
Senior Member
since 2004-01-30
Posts 537
New Zealand
2 posted 2005-11-26 11:56 PM


as a song, i like this
and i can tell it recaps your weekend!
the opening stanza was really cool, choice
GREAT U R WRITING AGAIN!

lor

can you find me space inside your bleeding heart?

bgj
Member
since 2005-11-09
Posts 128
Ga. USA
3 posted 2005-11-28 01:13 PM


Poem or song, either way it's a great write. Lots of luck,
bgj

Hollow_Emptiness
Senior Member
since 2004-02-01
Posts 715
New Zealand
4 posted 2005-11-30 03:05 AM


The whole Zeppelin repeated kicked.

I love this poem. Reminds me of a book I read. Only not. In this poem, it's where did he go? In the book, it's where did he come from? And THEN where did he go?
In fact, the guy in the book is nicer than the guy in this poem.


Write on. (Ha, a pun maybe?)
Hollow.
Courts.

Come on God, do I seem bulletproof?

majnu
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Senior Member
since 2002-10-13
Posts 1088
SF Bay Area
5 posted 2005-12-07 03:44 AM


it is definitely not lyric. but you truly paint with your words here - well done.

-majnu
--------------------------------------
Timid thoughts be not afraid. I am a Poet.

Kaos
Member
since 2001-08-02
Posts 317
between space and time
6 posted 2006-01-24 10:37 AM


i think i almost prefer it as a poem, but it makes a good song as well. Either way i agree it is an excellent piece. The sense of urgency to find the 'romance' gave the piece a unique character.

Life is a torment and torment an enigma. So burn the shackles of slavery and let love run free
-i wrote it somewhere in time

kitvb1
Junior Member
since 2006-01-23
Posts 28
Trebgast, Germany
7 posted 2006-01-25 03:08 AM


mmm, forbiddeb romance, or is it just lust? Th grass always looks greener on the other side, but that's only because of the manure.     I enjoyed reading, ty.

We've all been there. How we deal with it determines our paths.

kitvb1@hotmail.com

EveGnosis
Member
since 2002-02-21
Posts 300
New York, USA
8 posted 2006-01-29 12:28 PM


i truly love the nuances of the choices of words in this one, vamp! "your lips find mine...i taste tongue but it's wrong"..."i'm tired yet wired".
you really word-played this one so that i felt a part of it, and thus understood it entirely. awesome... fantastic!

mike

of all the things we try to find... it's only love we keep.

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