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Dark Poetry #4

Bleeding Soul

SATURN
Member

since 2004-05-04

Posts 78
ok,us

0 posted 2005-11-12 10:35 PM

The Black Heart
The Bleeding Soul
Runs through the limp and
soilled body controlling
its every move and action.
The Black Heart
The Bleeding Soul
The thoughts of you dwell
The SYMPATHY you ask of me
is lost not forever just
for now in this time when
you have forsaken me.
The Black Heart
The Bleeding Soul
They will never forget
The time when you had
FORSAKEN ME.

Jeremiah Johnson
Senior Member

since 2000-06-08

Posts 1223
Brooksville, Fl, U.S

1 posted 2005-11-13 07:57 AM

welcome once again. this poem is truly beautiful. it contains the essence that is needed to show the forsakeness but it also contains a structure that ties it all together with your soul. great job and keep it up.

I'm a dying romantic and when i can no longer write i can no longer live -Jeremiah Johnson-

SATURN
Member

since 2004-05-04

Posts 78
ok,us

2 posted 2005-11-13 11:58 AM

thanks for your critique, and this did come from my soul and the essance of my life.

Nightshade

Member Patricius

since 2001-08-31

Posts 13962
just out of reach

3 posted 2005-11-15 06:09 PM

Welcome to Passions !
Enjoy yourself here.
please check your email for a special greeting

Nightshade - moderator

Kaos
Member

since 2001-08-02

Posts 317
between space and time

4 posted 2005-11-19 11:19 AM

nice read, very good first post, welcome to PiP

"Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light"
-Dylan Thomas

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