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Dark Poetry #4

Do you not see?

Pluto
Junior Member

since 2005-07-12

Posts 12

0 posted 2005-07-12 01:46 PM

Underneath the twinkling stars,
Do you not see my jagged scars?
Amongst the leaves tipped with dew,
Do you not the see the blood that flows anew?
In the field of swaying poppies red,
Do you not see my heart is dead?
Lost in the beautiful mist of the moors,
Do you not see my burning sores?

Cloud 9
Senior Member

since 2004-11-05

Posts 980
Ca

1 posted 2005-07-12 02:37 PM

I really like this one..

Savage Quiescence
Member

since 2002-07-29

Posts 326
Wandering

2 posted 2005-07-17 03:20 AM

I enjoyed this one. The fourth and fifth lines have one too many syllables. I thought it ended a bit abruptly, but I liked it.

www.livejournal.com/users/alimakins

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