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Dark Poetry #4
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Sometimes I Have To Wonder
| Dark Poetry #4 |
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Sometimes I Have To Wonder |
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Musicmaker1969 
since 2000-06-25
Posts 589Peterborough, Ontario Canada |
So many things have happened So many things I know So many things still haunt me From a life not long ago. Too many rapes and sorrows So many bitter pains So many lies and secrets So much of life is strain. My past creeps up behind me Catching me off guard Memories of such sorrow Makes each new day so hard. All my years hold sorrow So much of it abuse Sometimes I have to wonder What the hell’s the use? Jesus lives in my heart! He can in yours too!!! |
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| © Copyright 2005 Sheri Liegh Adams - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Savage Quiescence Member
since 2002-07-29
Posts 326Wandering |
I thought this was good. I didn't like the repetition of the word "sorrow." I also didn't like the flip-flop of lines beginning with "so" in the first two stanzas. It worked for the first one, but I thought the reversal in the second stanza threw the rhythm off. The line "So much of it abuse" also didn't feel right to me. The rhymes didn't feel forced. Great job there. The rhythm was good aside from what I pointed out. Great emotion. I like the way you ended it. Keep writing, Alicia |
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Cloud 9 Senior Member
since 2004-11-05
Posts 980Ca |
I liked this.....well understood. |
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Musicmaker1969
since 2000-06-25
Posts 589Peterborough, Ontario Canada |
Alicia, thanks for the honesty and for the ideas. I didnt' see the things you pointed out until you did. Sandgran, thank you for your compliments. Jesus lives in my heart! He can in yours too!!! |
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