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Dark Poetry #4
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EveGnosis
Member
since 2002-02-21
Posts 300
New York, USA

0 posted 2005-03-20 11:27 AM


maybe with pain infusing my blood
my heart should numb into a sense of relief.

you showed me alright.
such a conundrum, i'm stuck!

for while i do my best to give,
i must also do my worst to take
which causes me only to bend until i break.

snap!

it's all expired anyway
so i'm revoking my license to love.

maybe my heart will numb into a sense of relief,
with pain infusing my blood.

of all the things we try to find... it's only love we keep.

© Copyright 2005 EveGnosis - All Rights Reserved
Purple Poet On Wheels
Member
since 2002-06-21
Posts 145
Pittsburgh/Edinboro, PA
1 posted 2005-03-21 03:04 PM


Nice way to reverse and reprise at the end
green_itchy_stuff
Senior Member
since 2003-06-26
Posts 1929
New Caney, Tx
2 posted 2005-03-22 03:40 AM


First out seems to have come out first.  Nice.  

-GIS

John 12:25 He that loveth his life shall lose it; and he that hateth his life in this world shall keep it unto life eternal.

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
3 posted 2005-03-22 11:51 AM


there is everything in this that I like and I wish I had written it...

M

Hollow_Emptiness
Senior Member
since 2004-02-01
Posts 715
New Zealand
4 posted 2005-03-22 11:01 PM


This just makes me want to give you a hug.
It rules. But it also rocks.

Love,
Hollow.
Courtney.

Come on God, do I seem bulletproof?

Purity
Senior Member
since 2001-11-20
Posts 526
Once Upon, USA
5 posted 2005-03-25 11:01 AM


"for while i do my best to give
i must also do my worst to take"

How true, Eve.

The beautiful thing about having your license revoked (even by self revocation), is the moment when it gets renewed...

...and it will.

Excellent poem, and I,too, loved the reverse reprise.

Wings bruised from turning away in such confined space...Not broken...still healable...still feathered with life, somewhere

Mad_Hatter
Member
since 2003-06-29
Posts 393
Canada
6 posted 2005-03-27 04:33 AM


Nice, very cleverly written and engaging.  Muchly enjoyed.
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