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darkness_witch
Senior Member

since 2003-12-03

Posts 516
Underneath

0 posted 2005-01-14 04:21 AM

i stood below
the blood red sky
counting the stinging tears
as they scrambled down my face

1-2-3-4-5

good morning america
here i am
greet me with a smile
that soon turns into a disapproving frown

6-7-8-9-10

ten good reasons to love you
ten good reasons to leave you
ten good reasons to hurt you
ten good reasons to hate you

11-12-13-14-15

i'm on my knees
below the heavens
knowing i've sinned
knowing i've wronged

16-17-18-19-20

crying and spluttering
grabbing at my heart
wanting to rip it and shred it
until it never existed

21-22-23-24-25

i write your name in the sand
and stare at my messy lettering
i read it over and over
until i stop comprehendering it

and it stops.

nirvana means freedom from pain, suffering and the external world.

River
Senior Member

since 2003-09-16

Posts 627
my own little world

1 posted 2005-01-15 02:14 PM

mmmhmm...*hugs* you stole the words from my heart. nicely done! very good imagery.

- River

"Stained by the sun, I can see colors...colors of mercy washing over me." - 3 Minutes From Home

silhouetted
Senior Member

since 2004-01-30

Posts 537
New Zealand

2 posted 2005-01-15 06:13 PM

soph! brillant as usual. it was so awesome, especially the end! omg i love the end stanza..... god ur great

laura

you're the only one keeping me alive

Hollow_Emptiness
Senior Member

since 2004-02-01

Posts 715
New Zealand

3 posted 2005-01-15 08:27 PM

Keep on keeping on Soph.

Give a little bit, give a little bit of my love to you...
The radio's playing and that's what's coming out, I don't know what the song is about, but you have alot of my love. Good poem, as passion filled as they always are, made me sad but hey I just read a Darkness Witch poem, so my happiness beats the sadness

Love lots and lots,
Hope to see you again soon,
Hollow.
Courtney.

You just got to see me through another day
My body's achin' and my time is at hand
And I won't make it any other way

green_itchy_stuff
Senior Member

since 2003-06-26

Posts 1929
New Caney, Tx

4 posted 2005-01-18 03:03 AM

It sounds as fast and rash as the tone as which you usually carry. When I read your work I see all kinds of things shredding, all over the place. And its fast too. Tell you what. I think I do care for all of you. You guys are like my friends. Friends of the black sheep that turned white, yet remained too blemished for the pure. Kinda, lol. Great write.

-GIS

Corruption is caused by holes in obedience to God.

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