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Dark Poetry #4
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PainBaneChaos
Member
since 2003-10-17
Posts 150
The point of no return

0 posted 2005-01-08 11:44 AM


"Head full of clay" feeling,
your feet are so light it hurts to move,
you can't stand the weight dragging you down.
You stumble and fall on painted lines,
wishing the sky would stop spinning for you.
looking for some kind of focus,
something solid.
Reaching out and you meet ephemereal images,
behind your eyelids, and somehow more real
than anything you've seen before.

*just trying to work out the writer's block.*

© Copyright 2005 Chaos - All Rights Reserved
Lexy
Senior Member
since 2003-01-28
Posts 1038
California
1 posted 2005-01-10 05:58 PM


Sounds like your coming out of it quite nicely...
for I enjoyed this...
especially this line:
You stumble and fall on painted lines

green_itchy_stuff
Senior Member
since 2003-06-26
Posts 1929
New Caney, Tx
2 posted 2005-01-12 01:26 AM


The truth is offensive to a lie.  *about the Constructive Critiques thing.  Yeah it does sound like you're coming out of your block.  When I write I don't try to do anything great.  I just think about a given situation and describe it and how it feels.  Like describing a certain aura.  Like a painting or music.  If that helps...

-GIS

Corruption is caused by holes in obedience to God.

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