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MyCrimsonTears
New Member

since 2004-09-04

Posts 8

0 posted 2004-12-08 10:03 PM

Lay it down

=========================
I can finally lay it down
To late have I come to this
Already have I suffered
for this im alone

I can finally lay it down
seeking that single pit of bliss
for the rest of my days
for this i loved

i can finally lay it down
screaming for my hidden addiction
again im left dry
for this i hated

i can finally lay it down
take my love
my hate
and all of my sorrows

i can finally lay it down
i could have given myself
it must be to simple a gift
This is why I walk away and finally lay it down.
===========================

tell me what you think.

Purity
Senior Member

since 2001-11-20

Posts 526
Once Upon, USA

1 posted 2004-12-08 11:53 PM

What I find most unique about this poem is that there are multiple awesome poems within it... Read only the second line in each verse...awesome poem. Then read only the third line in each verse...another awesome poem.
Quite interesting. Thanks for sharing!

Wings bruised from turning away in such confined space...Not broken...still healable...still feathered with life, somewhere

green_itchy_stuff
Senior Member

since 2003-06-26

Posts 1929
New Caney, Tx

2 posted 2004-12-09 01:33 AM

this poem is cool and the series of second line then third line. wow. It has like a Mexico, message in a bottle feel to it. and wow thats beautiful. Awesome write.

-GIS

let God ROAR,... in power...

MyCrimsonTears
New Member

since 2004-09-04

Posts 8

3 posted 2004-12-09 05:33 AM

thank you vary much, i worked on this poem for about a month, it just never felt just right.

stevebrklynnyc
Member

since 2004-01-04

Posts 292
GA, Camden

4 posted 2004-12-11 03:59 PM

I thought you put alot of thought and feeling into this. The title says it all, then backed up with a great poem, thanks, steve.

silhouetted
Senior Member

since 2004-01-30

Posts 537
New Zealand

5 posted 2004-12-16 08:09 PM

woah! the 2nd and third lines DO make an awesome poem! wow, thats pretty cool. great write

LOR

you're the only one keeping me alive

darkness_witch
Senior Member

since 2003-12-03

Posts 516
Underneath

6 posted 2004-12-17 02:12 AM

hehe love this one

and love how versatile it is

hmm cant choose a favourite but cus its all great

love and empathy
sophie

nirvana means freedom from pain, suffering and the external world.

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