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News_From_Nowhere
Member
since 2002-06-14
Posts 173
CU, NY

0 posted 2004-11-30 01:36 AM


Could you for once feel sorry for me?
Stop & ask me how I truly am?
Show concern & compassion?
Do anything nice?
Of course not.
Ha.
For if you did,
I'd be out of a job.

"So give life to your dreams, for there lies your survival, and cast your heart beyond those faded scenes, and I'll bring you through the storm"

© Copyright 2004 News_From_Nowhere - All Rights Reserved
Purity
Senior Member
since 2001-11-20
Posts 526
Once Upon, USA
1 posted 2004-11-30 11:56 PM


WHOA!! You once again prove King of the short and not so sweet. It's always shocking how you reel us in with the first few "Oh so beautiful and sad" lines, and then knock us out with a one liner...lol.
Nice shape to this one as well... like a fruit bowl or a chalice... "I'd be out of a job"...TELL ME ABOUT IT...Great write! (Handing out a PiPAward "Touche'")...

Wings bruised from turning away in such confined space...Not broken...still healable...still feathered with life, somewhere

green_itchy_stuff
Senior Member
since 2003-06-26
Posts 1929
New Caney, Tx
2 posted 2004-12-01 02:50 AM


Your writes are always cool.  So what kind of job are we talking about here?  Its a cool write, but I'm drawing a blank on the job.  lol.  I guess you'll have to spell it out to me.  lol

-GIS

Doing the same thing a million times in a row will definitely affect your head.  Read and pratice and read and pratice and read and prati........ead a

EveGnosis
Member
since 2002-02-21
Posts 300
New York, USA
3 posted 2004-12-01 11:48 AM


i think, craig, and correct me rider if i'm wrong that the "job" he is referring to is the one spelled out in the first four lines. it would seem that if this person he is speaking to would actually do those things, then the poet would "be out of 'the' job" of always doing those things for the other person since it is never returned (as in one-sided). this was so darn cool! yes, news, you always seem to slam hard in few lines!

of all the things we try to find... it's only love we keep.

kissa~rachelle
Senior Member
since 2003-11-27
Posts 988
nowhere special
4 posted 2004-12-01 10:02 PM


heh...i love it. Im saving.

I ask why, but in my mind,
I find i cant really rely on myself.
~~~Linkin Park~~~

Hollow_Emptiness
Senior Member
since 2004-02-01
Posts 715
New Zealand
5 posted 2004-12-02 12:23 PM


Hail to the King of short and not so sweet. Great poem, News.

Hollow.
Courtney.

I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad. The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had. - Gary Jules, Mad World.

News_From_Nowhere
Member
since 2002-06-14
Posts 173
CU, NY
6 posted 2004-12-02 10:05 AM


Thanx one and all.
I guess there's fury in a pheasant's wings after all...Eve, you got it right.
Hollow, if I were a King,
You, of course, would have to be Queen!


"So give life to your dreams, for there lies your survival, and cast your heart beyond those faded scenes, and I'll bring you through the storm"

stevebrklynnyc
Member
since 2004-01-04
Posts 292
GA, Camden
7 posted 2004-12-02 11:05 AM


Everything is a job in a way of sorts.  Enjoyed your post.
coyote
Senior Member
since 2001-03-17
Posts 1077

8 posted 2004-12-02 10:48 PM


Hey man, ya made me feel guilty as hell!

Great barbed wire write! Loved it!

CB 8)

PainBaneChaos
Member
since 2003-10-17
Posts 150
The point of no return
9 posted 2004-12-04 05:44 PM


That is EXACTLY what I want to say to people.  Did once, but burning bridges is a dangerous game.  Anyway, you can express what I cannot.  *bows* Great write.

"World's use is cold, world's love is vain, world's cruelty is bitter bane; but is not the fruit of pain." Elizabeth Barrett Browning

darkness_witch
Senior Member
since 2003-12-03
Posts 516
Underneath
10 posted 2004-12-05 12:43 PM


fabulous

loved the shape and the content
and yes I must agree, Hollow would of course be your queen (good luck N_F_N!)

snappy ending

can agree with where you are coming from tho.

5 stars

love and empathy
sophie

nirvana means freedom from pain, suffering and the external world.

Purity
Senior Member
since 2001-11-20
Posts 526
Once Upon, USA
11 posted 2004-12-05 02:07 AM


And just think, Rider, if you had added a few more lines of Ha!...you'd have stemmed a martini glass! lol... cheers to you again. And I concur with Hollow being the Queen, but also with d_w in "good luck"...lol Wow, this is still a memorable write. Wish I had said this to someone once and spared myself a lot of wasted time.

Wings bruised from turning away in such confined space...Not broken...still healable...still feathered with life, somewhere

EveGnosis
Member
since 2002-02-21
Posts 300
New York, USA
12 posted 2004-12-05 02:19 AM


hey, for hollow to be your queen, you must first fight the court thespian!
unfortunately, it sounds like you both need someone to finally answer yes to those questions... but fortunately, hey....
yes!
now that that's over, the fight begins...lol
you guys rule! and you truly do inspire!

of all the things we try to find... it's only love we keep.

Hollow_Emptiness
Senior Member
since 2004-02-01
Posts 715
New Zealand
13 posted 2004-12-05 01:54 PM


Goodness, me, Queen? Surely you jest? Nay? Well, hem hem, that's all right with me. No, truly, I don't see it, but just because she's smiling, doesn't mean she's happy, just because I don't see it, doesn't mean it's not there. And because you all have the best sight and insight, I'm willing to compromise, say a prince? EveGnosis has got to be my pick. Must rush off,

Hollow.
Courtney.

I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad. The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had. - Gary Jules, Mad World.

Ladycat
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Senior Member
since 1999-07-05
Posts 782
At the edge and a doorway,TX
14 posted 2004-12-05 03:25 PM


News,
If by chance someone stepped too far outside of themselves and actually saw you for your true worth they might be blinded by your aura.
That was a great short piece!!

Thank you for the read.

Love,
Ladycat

"Everything changes, everything stays the same."-Bill Austin

Purity
Senior Member
since 2001-11-20
Posts 526
Once Upon, USA
15 posted 2008-01-01 02:19 AM


I like sardonism, and I had forgotten about this little ditty. I hadn't, before, thought of how incredible the title is as relative to what you say in the actual poem.

Well done. I needed a remembrance like this, and I truly miss your presence here, News!

Wings bruised from turning away in such confined space...Not broken...still healable...still feathered with life, somewhere

roseofwinter
Junior Member
since 2007-12-03
Posts 12

16 posted 2008-01-03 08:59 AM


Oh so true are your words.  If it weren't for these emotions that fuel our words, we would be out of a job.  Loved this piece and look forward to reading more of your work.  
EveGnosis
Member
since 2002-02-21
Posts 300
New York, USA
17 posted 2008-01-06 02:41 AM


for once, a poem speaks to me as if it was written for me.

the "you" that you wrote of was me in my last true relationship, and i deserve this. it is a lesson in what one does that he/she is never aware of.

thanks for the "ouch" tonight, as i needed a bit of reality.

i finally feel sorry.

of all the things we try to find... it's only love we keep.

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