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EveGnosis
Member

since 2002-02-21

Posts 300
New York, USA

0 posted 2004-11-18 11:22 PM

if you could see through my eyes
perhaps but for the single split of a second
you'd be amazed
the colorful portrait of what i see
it's emotional detail
the vividness of its attraction
and intensity of it's beauty

if you could see through my eyes
only if in a moment of a chance of glance
you'd be transfixed
the radience of a wish's purity
a likenness to a glowing butterfly
clarity unbelievable in a mere snapshot
and such an image of overwhelm

if you could see through my eyes
even as a one-time peripheral vision
you'd be forever mine
the promise of all i have
a guarantee of hope imprinted forever
it's value increasing daily with enlargements
further detailing my love for you.

if you could...

i'll always need a friend, one i can defend.

green_itchy_stuff
Senior Member

since 2003-06-26

Posts 1929
New Caney, Tx

1 posted 2004-11-18 11:38 PM

I wish I could see clearer period. Beautiful.

-GIS

Doing the same thing a million times in a row will definitely affect your head. Read and pratice and read and pratice and read and prati........ead a

Purity
Senior Member

since 2001-11-20

Posts 526
Once Upon, USA

2 posted 2004-11-19 12:39 PM

Kodak, Minolta, Olympus, Canon, HP, and all the rest ain't got a thing on you. Your pictures come out in such vibrant detail that I want an EveGnosis camera!
Awesome poem of love, yet left somewhat dark (i.e. "underexposed" lol) by leaving it at "if you could..."

Wings bruised from turning away in such confined space...Not broken...still healable...still feathered with life, somewhere

*Alli4000*

Member Elite

since 2004-03-21

Posts 3188
The World of Poetry

3 posted 2004-11-19 08:04 PM

"if you could see through my eyes
perhaps but for the single split of a second
you'd be amazed
the colorful portrait of what i see
it's emotional detail
the vividness of its attraction
and intensity of it's beauty"

That first stanza was amazing...as was the whole poem. This is an amazing write...thanks for sharing!

~Alli~

*:.AIM = Alli4000.:* My Journal
Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened...

stevebrklynnyc
Member

since 2004-01-04

Posts 292
GA, Camden

4 posted 2004-11-20 12:08 PM

Hey dude, that was smooth. I think everyone at one time or another has shared your outlook on the most perplexing emotion of all, love! Enjoyed it muchly. Thanks. Keep on writing!

Hollow_Emptiness
Senior Member

since 2004-02-01

Posts 715
New Zealand

5 posted 2004-11-20 12:47 PM

That was really cool Eve. If people could look through my eyes, would they be unhappy about how I see them? or would they think I've done them justice. Your eyes are the second, I hope mine are too. Your writing is beautiful too.

Hollow.
Courtney.

I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad. The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had. - Gary Jules, Mad World.

darkness_witch
Senior Member

since 2003-12-03

Posts 516
Underneath

6 posted 2004-11-21 03:35 AM

beautiful poem, stunning imagery.

really gorgeus to read.

running out of adjectives!! hehehe

I love reading your work

sophie xx

nirvana means freedom from pain, suffering and the external world.

vampiana
Member

since 2004-09-08

Posts 296
Nothing and Nowhere

7 posted 2004-11-21 11:15 PM

oh wow. that was simply amazing and beautiful and awesome...and i just loved it.
your writing is so inspiring.

-Vampiana

"I cannot stand the way you tease, I love you though you hurt me so"-Marilyn Manson

News_From_Nowhere
Member

since 2002-06-14

Posts 173
CU, NY

8 posted 2004-11-23 12:03 PM

"its value increasing daily with enlargements"
Your simile of your sight being like a
picture perfect portrait was well done.
Beautiful, indeed.

"So give life to your dreams, for there lies your survival, and cast your heart beyond those faded scenes, and I'll bring you through the storm"

green_itchy_stuff
Senior Member

since 2003-06-26

Posts 1929
New Caney, Tx

9 posted 2004-11-25 01:01 AM

I just read it again, and its cool how you poured your heart out, one drop at a time, and then let it sit like you were wanting for someone to pour back into you.

-GIS

Doing the same thing a million times in a row will definitely affect your head. Read and pratice and read and pratice and read and prati........ead a

silhouetted
Senior Member

since 2004-01-30

Posts 537
New Zealand

10 posted 2004-12-16 09:05 PM

fantastic. absolutely!

-Laura

you're the only one keeping me alive

A Tone of Voice
Member

since 2001-07-18

Posts 287

11 posted 2004-12-17 02:37 PM

in a way this makes me think of
"The eyes of Laura Mars"....it fits your photo, I liked the concept very much!

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