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PainBaneChaos
Member

since 2003-10-17

Posts 150
The point of no return

0 posted 2004-11-16 04:42 PM

Flesh was tearing,
but I didn't feel it.
Pulse was pounding,
but I didn't hear it.
Blood was running,
but I didn't see it.
Lost in the thought of
Memory of
Look and feel and sound of
*it's supposed to be incomplete, short and sweet and to the point*

"World's use is cold, world's love is vain, world's cruelty is bitter bane; but is not the fruit of pain." Elizabeth Barrett Browning

kissa~rachelle
Senior Member

since 2003-11-27

Posts 988
nowhere special

1 posted 2004-11-16 10:52 PM

I like this a lot. The way you made it incomplete, but not. very awesome. Im saving.

Kissa

I ask why, but in my mind,
I find i cant really rely on myself.
~~~Linkin Park~~~

darkness_witch
Senior Member

since 2003-12-03

Posts 516
Underneath

2 posted 2004-11-17 12:24 PM

loved it

nice write, really thought it rocked

love and empathy
DW

nirvana means freedom from pain, suffering and the external world.

NightFall
Member

since 2004-01-28

Posts 88
The land known as England

3 posted 2004-11-17 02:39 PM

cool and well written, well done.

"My only love sprung from my only hate to early seen unkown and known to late" Romeo and juliet- William shakespere.

News_From_Nowhere
Member

since 2002-06-14

Posts 173
CU, NY

4 posted 2004-11-17 11:55 PM

Short & to the point
You accomplished.
But sweet
Is the last thing I'd call it!
Great, yes!
Sweet? LOL
I loved it! (But then I like sour things!)

"So give life to your dreams, for there lies your survival, and cast your heart beyond those faded scenes, and I'll bring you through the storm"

green_itchy_stuff
Senior Member

since 2003-06-26

Posts 1929
New Caney, Tx

5 posted 2004-11-18 01:05 AM

Thats cool. Its like shock. Witnessing a murder and being tramatized. Just staying in shock.

-GIS

Doing the same thing a million times in a row will definitely affect your head. Read and pratice and read and pratice and read and prati........ead a

PainBaneChaos
Member

since 2003-10-17

Posts 150
The point of no return

6 posted 2004-11-18 07:36 AM

GIS- that's what I was going for actually ^_^
News- Ok, so maybe not exactly sweet... But hey, I like sour things too.
Nightfall and Darkness- Thank you muchly!
Kissa- Save to your hearts content if you so desire.

I feel so loved.

"World's use is cold, world's love is vain, world's cruelty is bitter bane; but is not the fruit of pain." Elizabeth Barrett Browning

*Alli4000*

Member Elite

since 2004-03-21

Posts 3188
The World of Poetry

7 posted 2004-11-18 08:38 PM

I like this alot...

~Alli~

*:.AIM = Alli4000.:* My Journal
Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened...

Purity
Senior Member

since 2001-11-20

Posts 526
Once Upon, USA

8 posted 2004-11-18 11:02 PM

Vying for your second " Touche' " ? lol
Another great write PBC!

Wings bruised from turning away in such confined space...Not broken...still healable...still feathered with life, somewhere

PainBaneChaos
Member

since 2003-10-17

Posts 150
The point of no return

9 posted 2004-11-20 09:12 PM

Hey, anything I can get. I actually think I wrote this one in math class...

"World's use is cold, world's love is vain, world's cruelty is bitter bane; but is not the fruit of pain." Elizabeth Barrett Browning

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