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Dark Poetry #4
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News_From_Nowhere
Member
since 2002-06-14
Posts 173
CU, NY

0 posted 2004-11-15 11:55 PM


Children lying sick
Lost in the myst
Maybe they'll die
Maybe they'll grow old
Believe in me
'Cause I belive in you
You're beautiful
Lay in my arms
You're beautiful
So very beautiful

Can't belive
That this is truly true
Are you here with me
Am I just asleep
Believe in you
'Cause you belive in me
We're beautiful
Lying by ourselves
We're beautiful
So very beautiful

Children lying sick
Lost in the myst
Maybe they'll die
Maybe they'll grow old

"So give life to your dreams, for there lies your survival, and cast your heart beyond those faded scenes, and I'll bring you through the storm"

© Copyright 2004 News_From_Nowhere - All Rights Reserved
EveGnosis
Member
since 2002-02-21
Posts 300
New York, USA
1 posted 2004-11-16 12:14 PM


i felt a strange dichotomy at work here.
i found myself almost singing this,
which scared me.
gotta think on this one a bit.
nice write, though, but go back to start...
i felt a strange dichotomy at work here.
lol

i'll always need a friend, one i can defend.

Purity
Senior Member
since 2001-11-20
Posts 526
Once Upon, USA
2 posted 2004-11-16 01:54 AM


Twice in this poem you use the word "belive" in lieu of "believe".
Whether this was a typo or not, it works in a very unique way.
To me, we're all "children lying sick, lost in the myst". The fact that for a time, in between realizing this, you sought the comfort of love in the arms, makes me realize that there is hope yet in this myst filled world.
Cool piece, News.

Wings bruised from turning away in such confined space...Not broken...still healable...still feathered with life, somewhere

Hollow_Emptiness
Senior Member
since 2004-02-01
Posts 715
New Zealand
3 posted 2004-11-16 01:58 PM


I hope they grow old. Nice poem News.

Hollow.
Courtney.

I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad. The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had. - Gary Jules, Mad World.

vampiana
Member
since 2004-09-08
Posts 296
Nothing and Nowhere
4 posted 2004-11-16 02:04 PM


Very nice poem. I liked it.
I to hope they will grow old.

"I cannot stand the way you tease, I love you though you hurt me so"-Marilyn Manson

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