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Dark Poetry #4
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KuruShio
Member
since 2003-11-18
Posts 110


0 posted 2004-11-14 11:19 PM



Hello my apathy
It sunders all chance
Chance of success
For the empathy of fellowship
Does it love me too?
Or could it care less?
I think it cares too
But then why apathy
Do I care so little for you?

Neither night nor day can give me purchase only purged dust on earth can avenge the worthless.  
KuruShio  (DeadlyBob)

© Copyright 2004 KuruShio - All Rights Reserved
green_itchy_stuff
Senior Member
since 2003-06-26
Posts 1929
New Caney, Tx
1 posted 2004-11-15 12:03 PM


Maybe a coma after "apathy" in the next to last line.  This is a cool poem.  Kinda funny.  Why do I care about not caring?  lol

-GIS

Doing the same thing a million times in a row will definitely affect your head.  Read and pratice and read and pratice and read and prati........ead a

*Alli4000*
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 2004-03-21
Posts 3188
The World of Poetry
2 posted 2004-11-15 07:23 PM


Like this.
Oh, btw...i like oreos too.

~Alli~

*:.AIM = Alli4000.:*   My Journal
Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened...

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