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Dark Poetry #4
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kissa~rachelle
Senior Member
since 2003-11-27
Posts 988
nowhere special

0 posted 2004-11-11 05:02 PM



As I gaze into the mirror,
I search for just one glimpse
of who i used to be.
Instead all i find
is the cold, bitter truth.
That person is gone.

To the naked eye it looks like me,
so it must be,
but they are mistaken.

My better half moved on
took all the hope & love & innocence i had.
All that is left it this pain.
It never ends, never ceases.
It naws away at my stone black heart.
Slowly eroding it, till nothing is left.

It drains my strength,
and dehydrates my veins.
I watch helplessley as it takes over.
violating and etching its marks upon me.
Pathetic cries for help
but no one hears.
Im starting to slowly drown
in my own tears.
My sobs cut off by the blaring music
and just when i think its over...
I wake up
and face this harsh reality
i call my life.

This was hard for me to write, and i know it isnt the best, but its how i feel..please critique, but be gentle too.

Kissa


I ask why, but in my mind,
I find i cant really rely on myself.
~~~Linkin Park~~~


[This message has been edited by kissa~rachelle (11-11-2004 06:10 PM).]

© Copyright 2004 Karissa - All Rights Reserved
silhouetted
Senior Member
since 2004-01-30
Posts 537
New Zealand
1 posted 2004-11-11 10:41 PM


WOW. WOW. WOW. WOW!

this is the BEST i think ive seen from you. WOW. WOW. WOW. WOW

oh my

thats was so amazing im saving and printing and reading all the time from now on.

SOGOOD!!!

LOR

your the only one keeping me alive

kissa~rachelle
Senior Member
since 2003-11-27
Posts 988
nowhere special
2 posted 2004-11-11 11:16 PM


thnx LOR. I was worried it was bad...i dunno. It took me forever to write this one, but once i got it going...well you know..lol

Kissa

I ask why, but in my mind,
I find i cant really rely on myself.
~~~Linkin Park~~~

peaceful_dreamer
Member
since 2003-04-25
Posts 159
SoMeWhErE oVeR tHe RaInBoW
3 posted 2004-11-12 01:44 AM


This is exactly how I feel. Maybe someday, when I look in the mirror - I'll see that old person, but I doubt it. Some of the best poems take forever to write, and it's always worth the patience. You did a nice job with this.
~*~peaceful~*~

"I'm just me, trapped in a body."

-peaceful_dreamer

Hollow_Emptiness
Senior Member
since 2004-02-01
Posts 715
New Zealand
4 posted 2004-11-12 02:10 AM


Oh my god.
This was so....great
Wow
Wow
WOW!
Me too, the best I have read from you. Because you meant every word and I felt it and, you got my every thought down there. That old person is gone, and even though I don't remember when she left, there is that emptiness her laughter used to fill. Like a hermit crab, we have found new shells, and we could say, we are just settling in and making it homely.

That's the best you get from me after reading this. Really great, Kissa.
Hollow.
Courtney.

I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad. The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had. - Gary Jules, Mad World.

vampiana
Member
since 2004-09-08
Posts 296
Nothing and Nowhere
5 posted 2004-11-12 05:13 PM


speechless. I could ramble on about all the different things that made this poem great and how much I loved it. But that is actually beneath this poem, all those gushing lines don't even do this poem justice.

one word describes this poem: BRILLIANT.

Lots of love,
Kurst

"I cannot stand the way you tease, I love you though you hurt me so"-Marilyn Manson

kissa~rachelle
Senior Member
since 2003-11-27
Posts 988
nowhere special
6 posted 2004-11-12 07:18 PM


thankxs guys...i am going through hell trying to get over all this total bullshit i call my life...i hate everything about it right now. Nothing is the same as it used to be, and everyday i think of how it used to be and i just....i dont know if i will ever get over this....its likie my memories are haunting me...its soooo hard.

Anyways, enough with all the gushy shiz, thanks yfor your opinions and compliments...i think this may have been my best too...i put everything i had into this poem....

Kissa

I ask why, but in my mind,
I find i cant really rely on myself.
~~~Linkin Park~~~

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