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Dark Poetry #4
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vampiana
Member
since 2004-09-08
Posts 296
Nothing and Nowhere

0 posted 2004-11-11 01:31 AM



I feel every ounce of your sorrow
I feel every ounce of your pain.
I wish for no tomorrow
I know you wish the same.

Who are these people around me?
Who's surrounding you?
A simple buzz of commotion
Seperating me from you.

And in this moment
I know you're gone
And just like time passed by
You're never coming back.

Then people guess our problems
With self satisfied smiles,
Think they know all the answers
To things lacking
Questions.

But you were all that mattered
And i saw the light
Go out of your eyes
And in that moment,
In that moment I died.

"I cannot stand the way you tease, I love you though you hurt me so"-Marilyn Manson

© Copyright 2004 Kirsty - All Rights Reserved
News_From_Nowhere
Member
since 2002-06-14
Posts 173
CU, NY
1 posted 2004-11-11 01:34 AM


"Then people guess our problems
With self satisfied smiles"

PERFECT!!!!!!!!!

Again, you rule the Kingdom of Po-et...
Gotta work on the endings, though.
Even though I love 'em, for once
You gotta end the poem ruling the world!!!

Love again!

Rider

"So give life to your dreams, for there lies your survival, and cast your heart beyond those faded scenes, and I'll bring you through the storm"

EveGnosis
Member
since 2002-02-21
Posts 300
New York, USA
2 posted 2004-11-11 02:02 AM


first four lines kick arse!!!!!
i'm withya here. have been all along.
you're good, vamp~!!

hey, i agree with newsy on this one. it's high time you stop and say, "hey, dammit, for once i end up on top. deal with it, you!"

lol... you inspire. i indulge.

i'll always need a friend, one i can defend.

Hollow_Emptiness
Senior Member
since 2004-02-01
Posts 715
New Zealand
3 posted 2004-11-11 02:08 AM


I feel this. Fluck (you again lor). I feel awful sometimes, and I try to pick myself up, but nothing does it and I just don't understand. I try to second-guess everyone, but....babbling. Sorry. I really liked this poem in a sad sort of way. It was...can't describe it. I want to say edible. Trying to metaphorize, it's edible because I can digest it easily, and it's acid is stronger than my stomach acid so it eats holes through me. I'm satisfyed now.

Hollow.
Courtney.

I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad. The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had. - Gary Jules, Mad World.

aussie teen
Member
since 2003-09-27
Posts 396
Australia
4 posted 2004-11-11 06:23 AM


this is amazing.... i know this all to well.... hell it happened today..... nice write as always.....
Ruth

live life as if your going to die tomorow....... but love as if your going to live forever......

kissa~rachelle
Senior Member
since 2003-11-27
Posts 988
nowhere special
5 posted 2004-11-11 06:30 PM


this was good vamp...very good. lol
I can relate exactly...we see each other everyday, and it doesnt get any easier to accept the fact that nothing will ever be the same between us....we stopped talking close to three months ago, and sometimes i still cry over him...yes, pathetic, i know. But it is the truth...Gawd i miss him.

Kissa


I ask why, but in my mind,
I find i cant really rely on myself.
~~~Linkin Park~~~

*Alli4000*
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 2004-03-21
Posts 3188
The World of Poetry
6 posted 2004-11-11 08:30 PM


kristy...the first stanza is awesome! i love ur poems and can always relate!  great write!!

~Alli~

*:.AIM = Alli4000.:*   My Journal
Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened...

silhouetted
Senior Member
since 2004-01-30
Posts 537
New Zealand
7 posted 2004-11-11 10:50 PM


woah kirsty. woah.

this is sooooo good.
oh i love it!

is it about a certain 'J'? cuz if it is u conveyed that really well.

true, true and true.

loved it

LOR

your the only one keeping me alive

vampiana
Member
since 2004-09-08
Posts 296
Nothing and Nowhere
8 posted 2004-11-12 01:35 AM


I wish I could write poems in which I come out on top, but I like to kinda keep them relating to my life...and I never come out on top. I wish I could come out on top, belive me, I PROMISE as soon as I do, I'll write a poem about it!
lol

THANKS EVERYONE FOR THE REPLIES!!

lots of love,
Kurst

"I cannot stand the way you tease, I love you though you hurt me so"-Marilyn Manson

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