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Dark Poetry #4
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click1
Member
since 2003-03-25
Posts 152
usa

0 posted 2004-10-20 06:42 PM



Fullness of time,
so fleeting,
leaves it's scars,
just the same.

Where has the
strength gone?
I once counted on?

Never believed,
That I could feel,

Nothing

I can no longer,
Trust My own Heart.

Do Not pitty Me!
I am contempt,
of my faith.

Never give myself,
thinking the price.

Now I pay,
with icicles,
in my chest.

I can't go away,
I can't go on,
I can't stop.

somebody! please,
Understand! the future me....

Click

© Copyright 2004 jason - All Rights Reserved
green_itchy_stuff
Senior Member
since 2003-06-26
Posts 1929
New Caney, Tx
1 posted 2004-10-20 11:01 PM


It sounds like your possibly in the process of finding a part of yourself that its a little uncomfortable to find.  The whole poem has a feeling of falling to nothing or below nothing.  If this is pure art, then nice piece, but if not then I'm sorry and there is hope if you look in the right places.
-GIS

He has made everything beautiful in its own time.  -Ecclesiastes 3:11

littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
2 posted 2004-10-21 04:01 PM


Jason,

I know this so well:

Where has the
strength gone?
I once counted on?

Never believed,
That I could feel,

Nothing

I can no longer,
Trust My own Heart.


beautiful writing.

s1nfully_1nn0c3nt
Senior Member
since 2003-10-26
Posts 1105
Watertown, NY
3 posted 2004-10-22 08:48 AM


EveryOne Has Their Dark Hour, All That MAtters Is How You Deal With It, So Be Strong
I Loved The Poem

I'd Rather Be Hated For Who I Am Then Loved For What I'm Not~!~

Much Luv,
~!~"Trina"~!~

News_From_Nowhere
Member
since 2002-06-14
Posts 173
CU, NY
4 posted 2004-10-22 09:50 AM


This was a phenominal write!
The way you structured and stretched
to get the point across was awesome!
And the first stanza most noteworthy!
Great job!

"So give life to your dreams, for there lies your survival, and cast your heart beyond those faded scenes, and I'll bring you through the storm"

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