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Dark Poetry #4
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silhouetted
Senior Member
since 2004-01-30
Posts 537
New Zealand

0 posted 2004-10-03 01:36 AM


I've moved on
watched you run
to places only the dark of the night
could tell are real
but as much as i know
i dont need you
or need to know
i still want to know
do you still want me?
like it looked like you did
when your eyes locked with mine
and my soul melted to the ground
dripping with a seductive thud
loud enough to break the moment
and let you drift
do you still want my hand?
to hold when you are about to fall
needing someone or something to grip
cause you know on your own your useless
and without me
your shallow
your crude
your out for no one
but yourself
and does it do any justice to know
that deep down
i still want you?
but my stubborn state of mind
will never allow you back
near me
never again
to hold my hand
to keep me up
cuz without you
im nothing
and im shallow
and im crude
and out for only myself
and this wanting
will never comprehend the curiousity
of wanting to know
needing to know
do you still want me?

put your frustrations into four letter words - incubus

© Copyright 2004 L - All Rights Reserved
darkness_witch
Senior Member
since 2003-12-03
Posts 516
Underneath
1 posted 2004-10-03 01:50 AM


when your eyes locked with mine
and my soul melted to the ground
dripping with a seductive thud
loud enough to break the moment
and let you drift


brill

nirvana means freedom from pain, suffering and the external world.

News_From_Nowhere
Member
since 2002-06-14
Posts 173
CU, NY
2 posted 2004-10-03 02:56 AM


Yes I do
Write to me a thousand times
the answer's still the same
Much the enjoyed!!

"So give life to your dreams, for there lies your survival, and cast your heart beyond those faded scenes, and I'll bring you through the storm

kissa~rachelle
Senior Member
since 2003-11-27
Posts 988
nowhere special
3 posted 2004-10-03 02:30 PM


"cause you know on your own your useless
and without me
your shallow
your crude
your out for no one
but yourself"

I loved this, and i know exactly how ya feel cuz i am going through the exact same thing. WEll, probably not the exact but pretty damn close.

I am saving.

Karissa

I ask why, but in my mind,
I find i cant really rely on myself.
~~~Linkin Park~~~

Hollow_Emptiness
Senior Member
since 2004-02-01
Posts 715
New Zealand
4 posted 2004-10-04 01:33 AM


"watched you run
to places only the dark of the night
could tell are real"

I bet you're proud of that part! I would be. Actually, some bits reminded me of Selfish, Bitter, Twisted. Just the shallow and crudeness. Why do we run ourselves down so? Great write love, great to read. I like the writing rampage you're on. Verrry hip and happening. Cringe.

Hollow.
Courtney.

I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad. The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had. - Gary Jules, Mad World.

littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
5 posted 2004-10-04 08:00 PM


Laura:

I adore the changing thought process going on here, this is one amazing write.
This stanza blew me away:

when your eyes locked with mine
and my soul melted to the ground
dripping with a seductive thud
loud enough to break the moment
and let you drift


Beautiful writing.

vampiana
Member
since 2004-09-08
Posts 296
Nothing and Nowhere
6 posted 2004-10-06 03:13 AM


your shallow
your crude
your out for no one
but yourself
and does it do any justice to know
that deep down
i still want you?

i loved every part of this poem, so i couldnt exactly paste the whole thing, but that bit was cool.

"Why are you wearing that stupid man suit?"-Frank from Donnie Darko

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