a dozen wounded (for the stars will strike)

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Dark Poetry #4

a dozen wounded (for the stars will strike)

Mad_Hatter
Member

since 2003-06-29

Posts 393
Canada

0 posted 2004-09-30 12:31 PM

A dozen wounded on the floor
She’s not carrying these glass shards
Anymore…
Tonight, I found you stretched
Across the sky
The windows closed
No blood in sight
For the stars will strike…
A frozen lover at my front step
A viceroy will descend the stairs
Cover up your eyes…

She will stay, just fine
I need now more
What we could never find
Viceroy, viceroy
Why do you cry so?
Spread your wings
Flail and die so?

EveGnosis
Member

since 2002-02-21

Posts 300
New York, USA

1 posted 2004-09-30 12:39 PM

"tonight i found you stretched across the sky". great lines! also "no blood in sight for the stars will strike, a lover at my front step". powerful! too bad i found my "you" across the concrete sky. loved this!

i'll always need a friend, one i can defend.

Hollow_Emptiness
Senior Member

since 2004-02-01

Posts 715
New Zealand

2 posted 2004-09-30 10:42 PM

Why do you cry so?
Spread your wings
Flail and die so?

Sigh. Sad and beautiful. Brilliant.

Hollow.

I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad. The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had. - Gary Jules, Mad World.

littlewing
Member Rara Avis

since 2003-03-02

Posts 9655
New York

3 posted 2004-10-01 01:03 PM

Ryan, this is amazing, beautiful constructed writing.

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