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Dark Poetry #4
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vampiana
Member
since 2004-09-08
Posts 296
Nothing and Nowhere

0 posted 2004-09-28 07:03 AM



Sitting in the back,
Swallowing my nausea,
My name is called,
I go onto the stage.

Spotlights blinding my eyes,
I cannot see through the bright lights
You’re bleating out questions,
I’m trying to answer,
You’re all judging me,
You’re all judging me.

I mumble something and hope and pray.
Did I say something right?
Or was I wrong?
Are you gonna laugh to yourselves,
Thinking in your head,
“HA! This silly girl, has no clue.”
Just trying to impress
Trying to pass your impeccable tests.

Did I pass?
Do I get my gold star?
Told to not care,
Told to be yourself,
But that’s just rubbish,
Fed to you by loving parents
Lets lie to the girl, make her think that everything’s ok.
I don’t care what you think,
I don’t care if you think I’m a fool.

I care more than anything,
I whisper to myself.
Deep down, where the only truth exists.
I just want to be accepted,
I just want to pass your impeccable tests,
But will you ever stop judging me?
Will I ever, just be good enough,
As myself?

I dimly hear,
The faint cries of ‘no’,
I drop the mike,
And dissolve
Into my tears.
Tears of wanting,
Tears of needing,
Tears of needing to be wanted.

Why won't you accept me?

"Why are you wearing that stupid man suit?"-Frank from Donnie Darko

© Copyright 2004 Kirsty - All Rights Reserved
kissa~rachelle
Senior Member
since 2003-11-27
Posts 988
nowhere special
1 posted 2004-09-28 05:14 PM


Ahh...

wow, i know this one all too well. Sad, but true. I have always felt a sense of wanting. Wanting to be noticed, accepted, appreciated...never succeding, or never feeling like i was i guess.

ANYWAYS...the point is, that i know how ya feel, and i love the poem. !!! !!!

Karissa

I ask why, but in my mind,
I find i cant really rely on myself.
~~~Linkin Park~~~

Larry C
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286
United States
2 posted 2004-09-28 10:21 PM


vampiana,
Painful write, I like your candor.

====================
Did I pass?
Do I get my gold star?
====================
Odd our compulsions. We say one thing and think another. Not wanting to be judged while asking what they think. Seldom in life do we get things both ways. It turns out that no one else is responsible for our happiness or our self-worth. The trick is learning to like ourselves without making ourselves the focus of our lives. And low and behold when we focus outwards, mysteriously, almost imperceptibly, we've started liking ourselves. And in large part because others have noticed that we care and they like that. Fragile thing - happiness. Kind of like humility. Make it your focus and you'll never have it. Focus on something or someone else and suddenly...it's yours. I wish you peace, courage and strength. But mostly I wish you love and happiness.



If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again.

Hollow_Emptiness
Senior Member
since 2004-02-01
Posts 715
New Zealand
3 posted 2004-09-28 10:34 PM


I can't give a good reply, after Larry's. But I thought it was an ace poem (Where the hell did that word come from?)
Lol

Hope your ok.

Hollow.

I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad. The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had. - Gary Jules, Mad World.

Purity
Senior Member
since 2001-11-20
Posts 526
Once Upon, USA
4 posted 2004-09-28 11:21 PM


Larry's response is so poignant and true, and one that we all should embrace.
this is indeed dark, vamp ~ which is to say you are doing a remarkable job of writing for this forum... "swallowing my nausea"...great line and rang out loud and clear. good write!

Lose one friend... Lose all friends... Lose Yourself...

vampiana
Member
since 2004-09-08
Posts 296
Nothing and Nowhere
5 posted 2004-09-29 05:05 AM


thanks all you guys for your responses.
especially larry, thanks so much, i really embraced your reply.
with love and darkness,
vamp.

"Why are you wearing that stupid man suit?"-Frank from Donnie Darko

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