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Dark Poetry #4
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silhouetted
Senior Member
since 2004-01-30
Posts 537
New Zealand

0 posted 2004-09-21 05:05 AM


you said you'd love me forever
you said you'd never leave me
but where are you now?
now that i need you?
your hollow goodbye
has left me feeling
cold and shallow
ugly to your eyes
pale under your firey glow
defeated by your painful blows
watching from a far
id look pathetic
pleading at you to stay
down on my knees
begging you to stay by my side
needing you not to leave me
now that i need you
more than i needed you last time
from a far youd look smart
you'd look right
you'd look even better than you do
everytime i stare into your eyes
you'd look like you gave a damn
like you'd keep promises
like you hate begging
hate pleading
but none of this would have happened
if you hadn't broken my trust
hadn't gone back on your word
hadn't begged me to stay
hadn't pleaded me to stand by you
and now that its my turn
you'll just turn your nose up
as i plead you to stay
beg you to old my hand
beg you to love me
again

*personally don't like it too much. too corrected, didnt just flow. hmmm tell me what u think*

put your frustrations into four letter words - incubus

© Copyright 2004 L - All Rights Reserved
vampiana
Member
since 2004-09-08
Posts 296
Nothing and Nowhere
1 posted 2004-09-22 12:17 PM


hey lor.
i liked it. i thought it had some really good carry-on lines. nice job
Kirsty

"Why are you wearing that stupid man suit?"-Frank from Donnie Darko

Hollow_Emptiness
Senior Member
since 2004-02-01
Posts 715
New Zealand
2 posted 2004-09-23 02:09 AM


Oh yes, I read this yesterday, but was feeling lost and didn't reply. I guess I'm found...wow I can feel a poem in the near future. Personally not a favourite. Still good though, however I thought it did flow, just didn't pop out at me as your others have done recently.

Hollow.
CK.

I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad. The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had. - Gary Jules, Mad World.

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