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Dark Poetry #4
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Hollow_Emptiness
Senior Member
since 2004-02-01
Posts 715
New Zealand

0 posted 2004-09-21 03:44 AM


Note: Ok, this is not fancily worded, it's not great poetry either. But I don't know how to change it, because it feels right, and because it feels true.

If I opened my mouth,
Nothing would come out
Because nothing’s wrong,
I wish there were though,
Nothing’s wrong.
I know it. But I can’t show it.
I could rewrite this sentence
To tell you I am sad,
In so many dictionary picked words,
But it seems so artificial,
When all I need to say,
Is…
I’m unhappy.
Even then, you’ll laugh,
And ask me why,
Maybe you’ll know,
When I can’t reply.

“How are you?”

How can I reply?
When you expect an "I’m fine"?

“I’m sad, I’m unhappy, I hate everything, I don’t know if I can live like this any longer,”

Startled expression,

“Why?”

Laughter mingled tears,

“I don’t know.”

I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad. The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had. - Gary Jules, Mad World.

© Copyright 2004 Courtney - All Rights Reserved
Larry C
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286
United States
1 posted 2004-09-21 04:10 AM


No need to rewrite this one. You said it very well. Ya' know I remember a long spell of that when I was a teenager. Turns out I only focused on me. When I invested my focus outward, everything changed. It's easier being an old fart! Peace...

If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again.

silhouetted
Senior Member
since 2004-01-30
Posts 537
New Zealand
2 posted 2004-09-21 04:15 AM


wow

loved it

i don't know either

i just dont know

loved it

wow

LOR

put your frustrations into four letter words - incubus

Hollow_Emptiness
Senior Member
since 2004-02-01
Posts 715
New Zealand
3 posted 2004-09-21 04:39 AM


Thanks for the reply. Ha it might just be that Larry, being a teenager.

Hollow.
Courtney.

I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad. The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had. - Gary Jules, Mad World.

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