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Dark Poetry #4
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silhouetted
Senior Member
since 2004-01-30
Posts 537
New Zealand

0 posted 2004-09-15 03:02 AM


Don't
Hold my hand
Don't
say my name
Don't
kiss my lips
Don't
make me smile
Don't
sing
Don't
talk so sweet
Don't
lie so near
Don't
look in my eyes
Don't
laugh with such perfection
Don't
move your hands
Don't
touch me and make me long for you
Don't
leave me here
Don't
love me
Don't
let me go
Don't
love me
Don't
leave me alone
Don't
love me
Just Don't
love me

say wat you will, say what you mean, but you could never offend cuz your dirty words come out clean

© Copyright 2004 L - All Rights Reserved
Hollow_Emptiness
Senior Member
since 2004-02-01
Posts 715
New Zealand
1 posted 2004-09-15 03:05 AM


A bit annoying, and it didn't have a nice rhythm. But it was alright. The theme was good.

Hollow.

P.S I need to hear your song
P.P.S Write another poem  



I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad. The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had. - Gary Jules, Mad World.

vampiana
Member
since 2004-09-08
Posts 296
Nothing and Nowhere
2 posted 2004-09-15 03:36 AM


i disagree with courtney, i didn't find it annoying, i quite liked it.
Kirst.

Tomorrow, is the today we feared yesterday.

littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
3 posted 2004-09-15 01:41 PM


This is far from annoying
OMG it is brilliant!

The sing-songy pattern of this
shows the thought pattern of one
who really wants to be loved but is
afraid of hurting another by their
darkness inside and writing it like
this is amazing because to me it
sounded like thoughts crazily going
through my head, like thoughts do -
in seconds flat . . .

Don't
let me go
Don't
love me
Don't
leave me alone
Don't
love me
Just Don't
love me


What a keeper. Laura - nice job
  

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