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Dark Poetry #4
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MyCrimsonTears
New Member
since 2004-09-04
Posts 8


0 posted 2004-09-07 10:25 PM


panic
pure and simple
she was not supposed to come through the door
it was not acording to the plan
all i was supposed to do was go in get the money and get out
but no some stupid little girl had to come in
when i saw her and the look on her face i just freaked
i was so scared as she screamed bloody murder
so frightend by this i put the few pounds of force need to set all this off
she it the floor with a thud making noises through the hole in her throat
my eyes wide and jaw droped, i was stuned, i had really done it
now frearing for my life i ran, droping the gun and the money
only looking back for a split second to see some one one hunched over her.
i ran and ran screaming in my head, looking for some one to blame.
the hole thing was just one wrong turn to a nother.
if i only...


this is the 2nd build of this poem let me know what you think.i also thought i could name this "the if game"...

© Copyright 2004 MyCrimsonTears - All Rights Reserved
brezee
Member
since 2003-06-02
Posts 140

1 posted 2004-09-07 11:47 PM


Great job....I think that title would fit, as well...I like this, in that, it's got a lot of suspense and it's rather exciting, and possibly a little scary depending on how you look at it...I likes!


~*brezee*~

kissa~rachelle
Senior Member
since 2003-11-27
Posts 988
nowhere special
2 posted 2004-09-08 10:20 PM


i agree w/ brezee.

Very awesome. I like the name also.

Cant wait to hear more.

Karissa

I ask why, but in my mind,
I find i cant really rely on myself.
~~~Linkin Park~~~

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