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Dark Poetry #4
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fractal007
Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958


0 posted 2004-09-05 08:49 PM


This is the stuff that'll
make you sleep.
Will it be in my car,
thrown through the windshield
scraping along the road
grinding flesh under wheel?
I want you to count your
deep, full breaths.
Will I be in bed,
calmly getting my free dose
slowly relaxing and sifting
into a still sleep?
When it comes will I be ready?
my self may resist
they might not expect it
Will I accept our end
as we all do in the beginning?

2+2=5 for sufficiently large values of 2
--Smit
My Creations

© Copyright 2004 fractal007 - All Rights Reserved
Hollow_Emptiness
Senior Member
since 2004-02-01
Posts 715
New Zealand
1 posted 2004-09-06 03:57 AM


It confused me a bit, but the words had a glow around them, maybe I was hallucinating and deprived of sleep, but I just really appreciated this poem at the moment. And, you have a great talent. Hope you post more, this is the first write I've read of yours.

Hollow.

I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad. The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had. - Gary Jules, Mad World.

littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
2 posted 2004-09-07 02:58 PM


Kevin,

this is amazing and quite
philosophical there in the end . . .

It made me think of Jim Morrison
". . .going out smiling like a child
in a cool remnant of a dream . . ."

very nice writing

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