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Dark Poetry #4
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~K~
Member
since 2004-07-27
Posts 148


0 posted 2004-09-05 02:22 AM


Your crimson tears
leave a trail
I can't help
but stumble onto
along the
edge serrated
where sharks
are known
to gather
I find you
adrift
& lifeless
& wonder
if you'll
love me
more
If I
just let
you go

under

© Copyright 2004 ~K~ - All Rights Reserved
silhouetted
Senior Member
since 2004-01-30
Posts 537
New Zealand
1 posted 2004-09-05 03:52 AM


oh my! oh my!

I LOVED IT
that was soooooo amazing

there are some very appropriate words that could explain this, but right now, im speechless.
SAVED

LOR

say wat you will, say what you mean, but you could never offend cuz your dirty words come out clean

MyCrimsonTears
New Member
since 2004-09-04
Posts 8

2 posted 2004-09-05 10:28 AM


i like they word placement, making the poem get smaller as it goes down, nice... oh and i like the name
kissa~rachelle
Senior Member
since 2003-11-27
Posts 988
nowhere special
3 posted 2004-09-05 02:56 PM


wow...i am speechless. (for once) lol

This was so amazing. I absolutely loved it.
You are such an amazing writer...I can really feel everything in this poem.

Im definetly saving this.

Karissa

I want a relationship i can finally sink my teeth into.~ Alexander Sterling

PainBaneChaos
Member
since 2003-10-17
Posts 150
The point of no return
4 posted 2004-09-05 11:11 PM


Probably not.  And is it just me, or is it not that the words are just getting smaller, but they look kind of like that serrated knife.  love it.
Hollow_Emptiness
Senior Member
since 2004-02-01
Posts 715
New Zealand
5 posted 2004-09-06 03:53 AM


Great to hear from you again K. As always, loved it. Just.....great I guess, but there's more that is unsaid.

Hollow.

I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad. The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had. - Gary Jules, Mad World.

muted
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2004-01-15
Posts 2949
Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving
6 posted 2004-09-06 07:54 AM


"I find you
adrift
& lifeless
& wonder
if you'll
love me
more
If I
just let
you go

under"

```````````````````

ive sat here a good few minutes trying to think of what to say..but im just left short of words.
damn, thats written "just right"
..its in there
and its goooooood

littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
7 posted 2004-09-06 08:38 PM


*grinning*

this is awesome . . .

brezee
Member
since 2003-06-02
Posts 140

8 posted 2004-09-06 11:09 PM


(silence)...hmmm...wicked crazy awesome...I agree with muted in saying that it's written "just right"...I can't think of anything haha you know it's a really awesome poem when people can only reply with one strong word or phrase lol...


~*brezee*~

silhouetted
Senior Member
since 2004-01-30
Posts 537
New Zealand
9 posted 2004-09-08 03:30 AM


sorry
loved it so much so i just had to reply again

this would have to be one of my favourite poems on piptalk ever

loved the last phrase, I find you adrift.... till the end. Amazing

LOR

say wat you will, say what you mean, but you could never offend cuz your dirty words come out clean

soul drifter
Senior Member
since 2004-09-08
Posts 711
Colorado
10 posted 2004-09-08 04:32 AM


That's simply..awesome.
Loved it.

"Poets are all who love, who feel great truths, and tell them; and the truth of truths is love." --Philip James Bailey

vampiana
Member
since 2004-09-08
Posts 296
Nothing and Nowhere
11 posted 2004-09-09 12:21 PM


words can't describe how awesome that poem is. its just...brilliant. i love the name too.

"Cut myself on angel's hair and baby's breath"-Kurt Cobain

sparrow139
Junior Member
since 2004-05-13
Posts 18
UK
12 posted 2004-09-09 06:49 AM


Wow that poem was awesome! I absolutely love it. There is so much said and it is so simply written, yet with so much beneath the surface.

...Wow!

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