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Dark Poetry #4
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KuruShio
Member
since 2003-11-18
Posts 110


0 posted 2004-09-02 01:02 PM



dimmed vision, by blighted mist
hides these lips, to soft, to kiss
fraternal joinings we still greet
with claws and guns, so they retreat

in damned minds, damned thoughts
the ship's come in, but the dock has rot
hold a blade for me as i run
twist it harder, i'm not quite done

knoledge reveals that vague shadow
that we are as useless as a broken window
old rage runs rampant still
still held back, by my faltering will

but we all dance on hidden strings
yes we all dance on hidden strings

Neither night nor day can give me purchase only purged dust on earth can avenge the worthless.  
KuruShio  (DeadlyBob)

© Copyright 2004 KuruShio - All Rights Reserved
PainBaneChaos
Member
since 2003-10-17
Posts 150
The point of no return
1 posted 2004-09-02 01:44 PM


"yes we all dance on hidden strings"
Very nice. Sad and beautiful and just right.

kissa~rachelle
Senior Member
since 2003-11-27
Posts 988
nowhere special
2 posted 2004-09-03 05:30 PM


I agree with Pane. Very sad and beautiful.

I loved it.

Karissa

I want a relationship i can finally sink my teeth into.~ Alexander Sterling

fractal007
Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958

3 posted 2004-09-03 10:39 PM


I must confess that I did not have a very firm grasp of what it was you were trying to say with this piece.  The sounds were good, but the language could be fixed up a bit.

2+2=5 for sufficiently large values of 2
--Smit
My Creations

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