»
Archives
»
Dark Poetry #4
»
will i wake up??(dark)
| Dark Poetry #4 |
|
will i wake up??(dark) |
|
|
aussie teen Member
since 2003-09-27
Posts 396Australia |
this is a past present and future sort of poem.... it is really dark to start off with and changes as it goes through..... lying here my knife open wanting to see if it my time to leave this place and move on wake up next morning im still here nothing wrong i guess its not my time i decide to get it together now i know im meant to be here i dont need the knife any more fold it up and put it away put it some where safe out of harms way for now until i need it next time its come back out agian.... what is it this time it says to me i have nothing to say back... i just open it and lay it down following close behind i wait to see what happens now i woke this morning. one lil scratch nothing serious. just a graze really i guess im being told something get on with life dont worry about them just be who you are im taking this with consideration on what im going to do next i think its time to move on and keep on moving..... live life as if your going to die tomorow....... but love as if your going to live forever...... |
||
| © Copyright 2004 Ruth - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
miscellanea Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060OH |
aussie teen, I know this feeling and understand the pain. i have nothing to say back... i just open it and lay it down following close behind i wait to see what happens now I like your resolution, to move on. I used to think similar dark thoughts when my life seemed so insignificant that I thought I couldn't go on. Thirty years has past, and I found I got through those aches. You will, too. Take care. cathy |
||
|
aussie teen Member
since 2003-09-27
Posts 396Australia |
thankyou for the reply.... this is a vent ive needed to get off my chest since i was dumped a couple weeks ago and its been building up... i know i need o move on a nd writing is my way of doing it... thankyou again for the reply... live life as if your going to die tomorow....... but love as if your going to live forever...... |
||
|
EagleOne Member Elite
since 2000-03-07
Posts 2829Between a laugh and a tear... |
I like the way you approached this, and the emotion it brings. Enjoyed your thoughts. "A spring shower was cause to run |
||
|
aussie teen Member
since 2003-09-27
Posts 396Australia |
thanks for the reply... Ruth live life as if your going to die tomorow....... but love as if your going to live forever...... |
||
|
PainBaneChaos Member
since 2003-10-17
Posts 150The point of no return |
*nod nod* Of course, I can't offer any wise words of consolation and reassurance that you'll get through it. Everyone's different. But everyone pulls through in one way or another, no? I'll tell you when I've witnessed first hand. And aren't butterfiles just the loveliest of things? *not as random a comment as you think, really it isn't* |
||
|
PainBaneChaos Member
since 2003-10-17
Posts 150The point of no return |
Gah, I forgot to add the part where I said that I liked the poem. Just thought I should throw that out there. |
||
|
aussie teen Member
since 2003-09-27
Posts 396Australia |
thanks pbc.... yeah i know the butterfly comment.... heard that one a few times before... nicely planted though... brought a smile to my face.. cheers for replying. Ruth live life as if your going to die tomorow....... but love as if your going to live forever...... |
||
|
fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
Hi Ausie: I appreciated the sort of cyclical nature of what you're describing. You have done a good job at capturing the unpredictable nature of human emotion, especially during our teenage years. My only complaint is that it seems you've used inappropriate wording in some parts: i dont need the knife any more Why would the verb fold apply to stowing away a knife? Is the word knife instead symbolic of something else that can be folded? Just curious. On the whole, I enjoyed the poem though. 2+2=5 for sufficiently large values of 2 |
||
|
aussie teen Member
since 2003-09-27
Posts 396Australia |
thankyou for your reply fracta1007 and heres the explanatoin for fold up the knife and put it away bit the knife im talking about is a 3 and a half in blade pocket style knife that folds up... and again thankyou for the reply Ruth live life as if your going to die tomorow....... but love as if your going to live forever...... |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
