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Dark Poetry #4
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Tim
Senior Member
since 1999-06-08
Posts 1794


0 posted 2004-08-26 12:00 PM



As I traverse
in darkened depths
of melancholy
I sense the beat
of hollowed hearts
sounding forth
in ceaseless volley-
begone ye screams
of silence
harbingers of pain
you mock in isolation as
I loathe your harsh disdain
my soul is torn asunder
as I journey through the night
in seek of dispensation
in loathe of Charon’s bite.

© Copyright 2004 Tim - All Rights Reserved
green_itchy_stuff
Senior Member
since 2003-06-26
Posts 1929
New Caney, Tx
1 posted 2004-09-05 03:07 PM


This is a nice piece of poetry.  It just about falls out of the mouth as you read  with mysterious to it and has a gothic feeling to it.  Its quiet and calm as well.
Nice write.
-GIS

Everything is beautiful in it's own time

fractal007
Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958

2 posted 2004-09-05 08:24 PM


This poem kinda reminds me of a more individual version of Dylan Thomas's "Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night."  The speaker is trying to find a way out of death.  But the lines "begone ye screams / of silence / harbingers of pain" present a sort of irony.  The very silence of the inevitable victims of death is but a reminder of the speaker's ultimate fate.

2+2=5 for sufficiently large values of 2
--Smit
My Creations

Hollow_Emptiness
Senior Member
since 2004-02-01
Posts 715
New Zealand
3 posted 2004-09-06 04:08 AM


"Hollowed Hearts"

Had to reread it before replying, and now that I have. It made more sense....and those two words...just stood out. Thank you.

Hollow.

I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad. The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had. - Gary Jules, Mad World.

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