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Dark Poetry #4
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serenities_blood
Member
since 2003-12-21
Posts 56
New Zealand

0 posted 2004-08-21 03:01 AM


Eyes wide shut.
I pretend everythings okay.
But really its not
I feel scared, always looking over my shoulder
I cant get rid of the feeling
That I'm the biggest joke

I fear to close my eyes.
It makes me feel vulnerabe.
I cant read thoughts
You cant read mine.
And all this secrecy,
Whispers and private jokes.
Are they about you, are they about me?
I guess we will never know.

I cant help thinking
I cant help seeing.
I just wonder if its just me...
Or if everyone
Feels vulnerable with their
Eyes wide shut.

Hi, this is my first poem, so Im sorry if its bad or hasnt got enough depth. Please help me improve.
O and for those who once knew me, this is not Laura anymore, it is Gina!

© Copyright 2004 Gina G. - All Rights Reserved
silhouetted
Senior Member
since 2004-01-30
Posts 537
New Zealand
1 posted 2004-08-21 03:08 AM


GINA!
i am thoroughly impressed!
that was brilliante!

im all excited now! i looved it! AND NO IM NOT JUST SAYING THAT!

yay!!!

i really liked how you brought your first line back later at the end... very nice!

"When i close my eyes, i remember how to smile, under my umbrella im an accomplished exile..."

aussie teen
Member
since 2003-09-27
Posts 396
Australia
2 posted 2004-08-21 08:00 AM


this is really kool for your first poem.....
hope to keep on seeing more from you gina....
keep up the writing
Mel

live life as if your going to die tomorow....... but love as if your going to live forever......

serenities_blood
Member
since 2003-12-21
Posts 56
New Zealand
3 posted 2004-08-21 05:03 PM


Omg thanx so much for your support, I wasnt really sure how good it was but from reading your replies Im going to definatley write some more! Thanx again.
Hollow_Emptiness
Senior Member
since 2004-02-01
Posts 715
New Zealand
4 posted 2004-08-22 03:43 AM


Wow, great! especially for a first timer. excellent, now i'm going to go read your other two.

Hollow.
Courts.

"Why are my visions so unliving with dreams? And why do I no longer care?" - Stygian

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