navwin » Archives » Dark Poetry #4 » Have you done that?
Dark Poetry #4
Post A Reply Post New Topic Have you done that? Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
PainBaneChaos
Member
since 2003-10-17
Posts 150
The point of no return

0 posted 2004-08-18 10:23 PM


Get off my back,
get Out of my head.
I don't need your sympathy,
your empathy,
your help at all.
I'll live my life just how I choose,
since it won't last much longer.
And when it all is said and done,
who do you think's the stronger?
When my life finally stops,
with the last breath to escape my lungs
I'll tell everyone that I did,
exactly what I desired.
Not what you thought best,
and I'm the better person for it.
I will spit in your face with my last ounce of strength,
now tell me,
have you done that?


You'll excuse the odd format and such.It's simple venting in lines, which is why I write poetry to begin with. Venting.


People like you are the reason people like me need therapy.

© Copyright 2004 Chaos - All Rights Reserved
Lexy
Senior Member
since 2003-01-28
Posts 1038
California
1 posted 2004-08-18 11:10 PM


I know what you mean.

loved this:
"I'll tell everyone that I did,
exactly what I desired.
Not what you thought best"
great!

The Jackal
Member
since 1999-08-13
Posts 426
Springfield, Massachusetts U.S.A
2 posted 2004-08-18 11:27 PM


i really like the flow of this, and the format is quice nice too.Quite a bite to the last lines, great stuff

New lovers are nervous and tender, but smash everything. For the heart is an organ of fire

PainBaneChaos
Member
since 2003-10-17
Posts 150
The point of no return
3 posted 2004-08-18 11:30 PM


A bit of a bite was kind of what I was going for.  Of course, the person it's meant for will never lay eyes on it, but hey, that's why I have all of you.  Glad you guys liked it.  Lexy especially since she didn't particularly like my last one I believe.  Thank you muchly.
darkness_witch
Senior Member
since 2003-12-03
Posts 516
Underneath
4 posted 2004-08-19 12:15 PM


wow

amazing
ive felt this feeling for a long time, havent written it down though, and now that you have I think im too scared to, because yours was honestly amazing!!!!!!!!!
this has to be one of the best I've read in a while.

like I said in my reply to your other one, you are truly talented. this is wicked stuff

loveandempathy
darkness

nirvana means freedom from pain, suffering and the external world.

PainBaneChaos
Member
since 2003-10-17
Posts 150
The point of no return
5 posted 2004-08-19 11:20 AM


Thanks Darkness.  This actually originated as  xanga post to someone, and I figured since I was already so mad that I may as well do something constructve with it.
Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Dark Poetry #4 » Have you done that?

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary