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Dark Poetry #4
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Danger
| Dark Poetry #4 |
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Danger |
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PainBaneChaos Member
since 2003-10-17
Posts 150The point of no return |
No real structure to this one, just bear with me. They say my habits Will kill myself. Is that such a bad thing, I wonder? I’m swimming in a pool of lies, And baby, I’m going under. I’ve been hurt, More than my share, And I keep getting up. They can’t break me, But they can try. I know they’ll just give up. It’s fine If you don’t like what I do. It’s my body. It isn’t You. When I collapse, At least I know, My will is stronger than Any crushing blow That you can deal, Or someone else To mind Or heart, Or self. Anything you throw, You know I’ll catch, And not a scar will show. At least, not on the surface, You’ll have to dig for it, you know. Just under my skin, and in my head Lies a story that should remain untold. At least, it’s not something all can hear. Yet, you listen as the nightmares unfold. You delved too deep, You know too much. And you haven’t found the end. Still you think For some reason There’s something you can mend. And I let you explore, Hoping you’ll get lost. I worry about Just how much this will cost. I don’t want to let you Get in stabbing range To use my own world Against me. I shudder away At your touch And offer a silent plea For you to simply disappear Get out of my life Away from here. You can’t get hurt, If you’re never found. Can’t get burned If there’s no fire around. People like you are the reason people like me need therapy. |
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yv Senior Member
since 2003-05-30
Posts 574 |
This was deep. I felt every word as if it were my own truth. I loved this poem. The fact that, as you say, there was no structure in your poem further eludes to the chaos and destruction that has deteriorated your world. Anyway, that's how I interpreted it. Loved it. yv |
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PainBaneChaos Member
since 2003-10-17
Posts 150The point of no return |
Don't you just love how things work out that way? Glad you liked it. |
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silhouetted Senior Member
since 2004-01-30
Posts 537New Zealand |
Still you think For some reason There’s something you can mend. And I let you explore, Hoping you’ll get lost. i really loved that bit. Once again i love your work, your words compel me so strongly whenever i see your name i have to read your poems. if as you say this is one of your songs for you band, the band must be soo damn good. What music do u like? LOR "It would make those who listen to it doze into a land of rivers, kund fu and unicorns, eventually making the listener pee in his/her pants - Brandon |
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darkness_witch Senior Member
since 2003-12-03
Posts 516Underneath |
awesome. my favourite poems to read are thoughts, because they are always real and u can usually relate. i really related to every line post more. ill read loveandempathy darkness nirvana means freedom from pain, suffering and the external world. |
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PainBaneChaos Member
since 2003-10-17
Posts 150The point of no return |
I listen to heavy metal/ alternative... Well... If there's a word I don't know it. Dark emo maybe? |
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Hollow_Emptiness Senior Member
since 2004-02-01
Posts 715New Zealand |
Omg, if this is a song, let me at it. I want to hear it. Over and over and over......I absolutely loved this one. "Can’t get burned If there’s no fire around." and "I don’t want to let you Get in stabbing range To use my own world Against me." Best bits, in my opinion. I love the words and how you put them together and the pictures that form and I just love it. Hollow. "Why are my visions so unliving with dreams? And why do I no longer care?" - Stygian |
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aussie teen Member
since 2003-09-27
Posts 396Australia |
this is beautiful......... this will make a beautifull song for your band..... i can realte to the whole poem because it is wat was going thru for the last 2 and a half months till my b/f dumped me during the week..... ne ways.... love this poem and will be reading more as they come. Mel live life as if your going to die tomorow....... but love as if your going to live forever...... |
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PainBaneChaos Member
since 2003-10-17
Posts 150The point of no return |
Thank you both and I'll get the cd out as soon as possible I promise. ^_^ |
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silhouetted Senior Member
since 2004-01-30
Posts 537New Zealand |
that wont help... a few of us are down here in New Zealand so make sure to get some cds down HERE!!!! "When i close my eyes, i remember how to smile, under my umbrella im an accomplished exile..." |
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PainBaneChaos Member
since 2003-10-17
Posts 150The point of no return |
Lol, alright. I'll send you down one personally, ad I'll even autograph it for you. ^_^ |
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spritrider87 Member
since 2003-05-31
Posts 294NH |
it's like you've gotten into my head. everything you said i have said silently to everyone. lashing out when i don't want to hurt people. i get what your saying. for someone in my life too has looked too deep inside of me and thinks they can mend what isnt there. Ice lost and afraid i am calling out to you light angel. |
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brezee Member
since 2003-06-02
Posts 140 |
This would indeed make a pretty awesome song. I try to write songs sometimes but...they don't really work right, hence my writing poetry instead lol. One part stood out to me for some reason...I was like oooh!..."And I let you explore, Hoping you’ll get lost." I love that part! Again, you have written another awesome write, just keep doing it! Great job  ~*brezee*~ |
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PainBaneChaos Member
since 2003-10-17
Posts 150The point of no return |
Thanks. ^_^ |
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MGROVES
since 2004-02-01
Posts 3802california |
this was very good |
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