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Dark Poetry #4
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I'm not worth it
| Dark Poetry #4 |
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I'm not worth it |
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silhouetted Senior Member
since 2004-01-30
Posts 537New Zealand 
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Vent, declare, escape. Devour me with your relentless teeth swallow my lumpy texture without complaint Now tell me I'm not worth it Rip at my flesh cry the sweet tears of fury see the blood that pulses through my body for you Now tell me I'm not worth it Bring me to the light turn my pages so all of me can adjust wipe the dirt off my brow Now tell me I'm not worth it Open my eyes Let yours wander over what they will Look deep in mine, read my mind Now tell me I'm not worth it See right through me Hear my screams of sacrifice Look at everything I've ever done for you Now can you tell me I'm not worth it? LOR "It would make those who listen to it doze into a land of rivers, kund fu and unicorns, eventually making the listener pee in his/her pants - Brandon |
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| © Copyright 2004 L - All Rights Reserved | |||
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kissa~rachelle Senior Member
since 2003-11-27
Posts 988nowhere special |
I cant beleive no one has replied to this. I really really loved this one! Very descriptive, as always. Kissa I want a relationship i can finally sink my teeth into.~ Alexander Sterling |
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Hollow_Emptiness Senior Member
since 2004-02-01
Posts 715New Zealand |
Very vivid. I liked, wish it was longer though. Repitition was used well. Hollow. Okaaaaaaaaaay! "Why are my visions so unliving with dreams? And why do I no longer care?" - Stygian |
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yv Senior Member
since 2003-05-30
Posts 574 |
That was so incredible deep and emotional. I felt every single word. I mean, to be bound by this ever eminating feeling that you are worthless, it must be the hardest thing in the world to deal with. I myself have been in a situation where I feel all of everything is trying to devour me. Your feelings are verily felt within this author's soul and I thank you very much for your openness. Yv-Goddess of Her Domain. Symbol of Truth Passion Pain. Let Her Smile Rain on the Hearts of the Innocent. |
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green_itchy_stuff Senior Member
since 2003-06-26
Posts 1929New Caney, Tx |
I liked your poem. It sounded to the point. And I just had a realization about your encouragment of critiques message. Instead of asking for critical "whats wrong with my work critiques" What about learning from whats right and what you do that is good. GIS No turning back, this time, no walking away -Kutless |
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spritrider87 Member
since 2003-05-31
Posts 294NH |
wow....that was... i dont know how to explain it. its like you reached into my heart and my soul and my mind and put down in words every thought and feeling i've ever felt for awhile. this was truely amazing. and amazing is an understatement. i'm adding you to my library. please keep writing. jian "alone yet unafraid to hurt. i go through every day trying to find my way. where is the light. where is my fight. is this how it ends?" |
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