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Dark Poetry #4
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PKreturns
Member
since 2003-07-21
Posts 362
New Orleans, LA

0 posted 2004-07-13 09:00 AM


On a web of deceits
I awake to smothering heat
With darkness all around
Blotting out all the sound
Sweat assures me of reality
Dripping like tears off of me
As a fly I cling
To this unearthly thing
The pain still remains
My mind still stained
Must be my heartbeat pounding
Its noise resounding
Out of the silence somewhere
As if I really did care
All I can do is crawl
To find some sort of wall
Remnants of my guardian
Of stone and towers golden
Delusions akin to life
Cuts me like a knife
Until I smell a breath
Foretelling news of death
She is coming I can tell
Queen of this hell
I feel movement along the web
Sounds like the undead
Can only make before they devour
Their prey in their final hour
Don’t want to end this way
But then I hear her say:
“You might think it too soon,
too few moons.
And when you have to give in,
I’ll be back again.”


© Copyright 2004 PKreturns - All Rights Reserved
silhouetted
Senior Member
since 2004-01-30
Posts 537
New Zealand
1 posted 2004-07-13 08:02 PM


very different. imagery was awesome aye!

The pain still remains
My mind still stained
Must be my heartbeat pounding
Its noise resounding
Out of the silence somewhere
As if I really did care

loved this part. read it over and over just letting the rhyme take different shapes each time.

LOR

"It would make those who listen to it doze into a land of rivers, kund fu and unicorns, eventually making the listener pee in his/her pants - Brandon

Tomer
Senior Member
since 2002-06-28
Posts 1168
Michigan
2 posted 2004-07-14 02:06 AM


This has a real nice flow to it.  Very consistent.  enjoyed it a lot.

Tomer

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