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Dark Poetry #4
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PKreturns
Member
since 2003-07-21
Posts 362
New Orleans, LA

0 posted 2004-07-09 09:00 AM


Devastation
Destruction

Ruin,
All I ever seem to bring,
And misery follows
Wherever I go

It might be better
If I was alone
And spared everyone
From my mind

All I ever wanted
Was something
And now I have
Nothing

And that’s all I deserve,

My ruination


© Copyright 2004 PKreturns - All Rights Reserved
Hollow_Emptiness
Senior Member
since 2004-02-01
Posts 715
New Zealand
1 posted 2004-07-11 03:50 AM


I would like it with more depth, but the idea was good.

Hollow.

"Why are my visions so unliving with dreams? And why do I no longer care?" - Stygian

Lexy
Senior Member
since 2003-01-28
Posts 1038
California
2 posted 2004-07-11 05:59 PM


A very self-loathing piece.
Very vague.
You could definately go into more detail with it.
describe more about your mind, and why everyone should be spared from it, and their reactions to you, and your behavoir.
It just needs to more detailed, less general.


PKreturns
Member
since 2003-07-21
Posts 362
New Orleans, LA
3 posted 2004-07-12 08:16 AM


That's why it is a poem. Not a diary.
Thanks for reading.

yv
Senior Member
since 2003-05-30
Posts 574

4 posted 2004-07-20 02:23 PM


Wow, how in the world could have seen inside my universe like that?!  That's absoulutely mind boggling.  Again, wow.  I loved it and yet, it pained me so to see my thoughts and feelings opened up like that.  Masterful.  Short.  Bittersweet.  Poetry.  That rocked!

yv

Yv-Goddess of Her Domain

PainBaneChaos
Member
since 2003-10-17
Posts 150
The point of no return
5 posted 2004-07-20 08:09 PM


I liked it.  I guess I don't see it as vague so much as open to personal interpretation.  It can mean different things to different people. There are several different kinds of ruination.
PKreturns
Member
since 2003-07-21
Posts 362
New Orleans, LA
6 posted 2004-07-21 08:22 AM


PainBane....you hit the nail on the head. I couldn't explain it any better than that.

yv...thank you. Your universe too?

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