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Dark Poetry #4

untitled

davidmerriman
Member

since 2003-04-30

Posts 123
Dallas, TX

0 posted 2004-06-26 01:04 AM

And let it all come crashing down,
The little pieces of your life,
The hopes and fortunes that you’ve built
While knowing they will someday crumble.
And let it all come rushing forth,
Shooting out and holding weight,
Blacking out and punching pillows,
A different echelon of thought.

Seeping faster now, your humanness pulls you
Deeper and deeper down the bowels of being.
Samsara twirls you, throws you down.
You will kiss the big toe of humanity.
You will suck away the sweaty hairs
As they fall in juicy folds down your throat.
You will choke and you will choke and you will choke.

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Mysteria

Member Laureate

since 2001-03-07

Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada

1 posted 2004-06-28 12:55 PM

I really enjoyed the first stanza of this and felt that the poem said a load to that point, but could not connect the second stanza in thought. I also felt the last line could have simple been, "You choke." Just a thought? Enjoyed it though.

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