»
Archives
»
Dark Poetry #4
»
Numb (I'm back)
| Dark Poetry #4 |
|
Numb (I'm back) |
|
|
silhouetted Senior Member
since 2004-01-30
Posts 537New Zealand 
|
Lift me to the stars to let me breathe Drop from the stars to let me bleed Grip the day and release the night Open scars and seedless light Suffocating arms strangle my body I’m breathing but no air is entering my cold lungs Seedy eyes eat at my thoughts and I’m sorry But I cannot let you in the pain Scratching at my heart I release you Breathing verbal heat through my immortal lies When will someone fine me? When will someone open my eyes? My screams suffocate the air Lifeless motion exits my body Air enters through my feet Life never felt so dead "It would make those who listen to it doze into a land of rivers, kund fu and unicorns, eventually making the listener pe is his/her pants - Brandon B |
||
| © Copyright 2004 L - All Rights Reserved | |||
Mysteria 
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
I loved the last line, and sure have felt that way myself at times. You created a character and the scene very well in this write, and welcome back too.  "Start where you want to finish!" |
||
|
peaceful_dreamer Member
since 2003-04-25
Posts 159SoMeWhErE oVeR tHe RaInBoW |
I really like the first stanza. Why didn't you keep the rhyme pattern going? "I'm just me, trapped in a body." |
||
|
Hollow_Emptiness Senior Member
since 2004-02-01
Posts 715New Zealand |
Welcome back lovie. Awesome write, imagery was great. And this kind of made me want to return as well. In fact...might go Poem Writing. Gtg to School. TTYL Hollow "Why are my visions so unliving with dreams? And why do I no longer care?" - Stygian |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
