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Dark Poetry #4
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Shattered Hollow Core
| Dark Poetry #4 |
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Shattered Hollow Core |
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~*DrAgOnFLY*~ Junior Member
since 2003-10-17
Posts 29Haven of Abyss |
((this isnt my normal style really, the darkness is but not the way its designed, hopefully its not too bad...lol)) dancing to my evil theme thousand voices follow me pivot on insanity reach inside my soul. depths of pain you cannot see hollow core inside of me wreathing deep the agony Lost inside a dream. laughter plays upon the wind snares the joy i hold within Demons kiss has captured me Slave to all and free no more I lay trapped here a shattered hollow core "You laugh because I'm different, I laugh because you're all the same" Forever 'N Always <>< ~*DrAgOnFLY*~ |
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| © Copyright 2004 Cayce Justine Eisentraut - All Rights Reserved | |||
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River Senior Member
since 2003-09-16
Posts 627my own little world |
*aplauds* hey chica, not bad, you're starting to sound like me.......hmmmmmmm....well, anyways, goo job! =) - River Running out of pain |
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~*DrAgOnFLY*~ Junior Member
since 2003-10-17
Posts 29Haven of Abyss |
uh...thats wut i thought too hun...hehehe "You laugh because I'm different, I laugh because you're all the same" |
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Theory Junior Member
since 2004-05-04
Posts 23N. CA. USA |
i liked it |
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Savage Quiescence Member
since 2002-07-29
Posts 326Wandering |
*Thumbs up* The line "I lay trapped here" seems like a misfit. The addition of a filler word such as "like" at the end might help it flow with the rest. Aside from that, it played like a song. I enjoyed the read, thanks for sharing. Keep writing. |
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~*DrAgOnFLY*~ Junior Member
since 2003-10-17
Posts 29Haven of Abyss |
((like the suggestion!!! that had tripped me up n i wasnt sure how to smooth it out, thanks much!!)) "You laugh because I'm different, I laugh because you're all the same" |
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Savage Quiescence Member
since 2002-07-29
Posts 326Wandering |
My pleasure =o) |
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