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Dark Poetry #4
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Echo
| Dark Poetry #4 |
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Echo |
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silhouetted Senior Member
since 2004-01-30
Posts 537New Zealand 
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I could feel you breathing your quick stuffled breaths condensing on my back your eyes tickled the brink of moisture And your hands shook the subtlety out of my body My legs ache from the continuous walking away they bare scars of wear and stains of yesterdays battle My eyes struggle with their feathery weight and my head echos the sounds of your screams dont shadow my opinion of your selfless art the movements of your passion compell me to the end and your 'everything is going to be alrite' mask is peeling and my hand is releasing yours I'm not asking you to understand Nor forgive my restless attempts but then again, further down this river where will i find your indesicion useful? But your soul shadows my thoughts and you eyes penetrate into mine and i fall ocne again in the echo of your mind LOR "It would make those who listen to it doze into a land of rivers, kund fu and unicorns, eventually making the listener pe is his/her pants - Brandon B |
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| © Copyright 2004 L - All Rights Reserved | |||
Michelle_loves_Mike
since 2003-12-20
Posts 1189Pennsylvania |
All in all, I like where this is coming from, needs a little spell check done,,,,and, what is "stuffled"? Michelle I wish all could find the true happiness I have found,,in the eyes of Mike |
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Theory Junior Member
since 2004-05-04
Posts 23N. CA. USA |
"your eyes tickled the brink of moisture" very nice line. I liked this peice. good stuff |
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eor Senior Member
since 2002-09-26
Posts 959blues & greys |
nice write Beauty is truth, truth beauty |
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darkness_witch Senior Member
since 2003-12-03
Posts 516Underneath |
good, but i didnt really see where it was goin if u get me............. didnt really see its point. yea wats stuffled? anyone?? nirvana means freedom from pain, suffering and the external world. |
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Hollow_Emptiness Senior Member
since 2004-02-01
Posts 715New Zealand |
Nice Write....not one of my faves tho...soz  "Why are my visions so unliving with dreams? And why do I no longer care?" - Stygian |
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