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Dark Poetry #4
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River
Senior Member
since 2003-09-16
Posts 627
my own little world

0 posted 2004-05-20 04:13 PM



hate this burns and echoes
past confusion
pitiful lives at waste for nothing
smashing guilt at mistakes
faster than I can breath
I think I see a light
but it is so far away
so dim i wonder if it's just another
hallucination meant to mock me
cold hearted I can't just sit here
and watch it disappear
I need to strive for something
or else i die like the rest
die like the rest
I doubt it's the best
inside I feel sick and confused
outside i feel something like used
helpless and battered
do I have the strength to run
oh my God please help me
I won't make it alone.

Running out of pain

© Copyright 2004 Bonnie Sue Bixler - All Rights Reserved
Theory
Junior Member
since 2004-05-04
Posts 23
N. CA. USA
1 posted 2004-05-20 08:16 PM


I hear madness and chaos in this prayer. someone desperate at the end of their rope. nice. I liked it
darkness_witch
Senior Member
since 2003-12-03
Posts 516
Underneath
2 posted 2004-05-21 02:29 AM


this is amazing

i can empathise with wat ur feeling. its sad to see sum1 feeling how i do, and im sorry that you feel like this.

this is a trully amazing poem, packed with emotions and thoughts, its great that u can express all of them.

keep them coming, i love to read ur poems.

hardcore write dude

darkness

nirvana means freedom from pain, suffering and the external world.

Endlessecho
Member
since 2003-09-05
Posts 398
I live within myself
3 posted 2004-05-21 07:57 AM


This has a really great flow to it.  I really like the last line.  Great peice.
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