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Dark Poetry #4
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Endlessecho
Member
since 2003-09-05
Posts 398
I live within myself

0 posted 2004-05-20 03:23 PM


My father reaches over to turn off the oxygen machine
so that he can light another cigarette.
I place his food in front of him;
the same old food as always.
I leave the room because I cannot stand
the smell of smoke and boredom and ending life.



© Copyright 2004 Endlessecho - All Rights Reserved
sweet_cute_palestinian04
Member
since 2004-04-11
Posts 418
Earth
1 posted 2004-05-21 12:50 PM


this poem was kinda good ,,,i did not understand it much but it sounded good keep it upp.

I will cover you with my blood,not only because
i love you but because your are the one that turned my blood a color....

Theory
Junior Member
since 2004-05-04
Posts 23
N. CA. USA
2 posted 2004-05-21 02:36 AM


This is someone who's father is suffering from some kind of cancer. possibly lung. that's what the oxygen machine is all about. they're helping to feed and take care of them during this tough time and the father is still smoking cigarretes even though suffering through cancer. That's got to be tough for the son or daughter to have to deal with. I liked the ending to your poem. very strong.hoped this helped palestinian04
a123
Member
since 2004-03-27
Posts 72

3 posted 2004-05-21 07:46 AM


wow. this was powerful.I liked it

a123

Endlessecho
Member
since 2003-09-05
Posts 398
I live within myself
4 posted 2004-05-21 07:56 AM


Thank you so much Theory!  Couldn't have said it better myself :-)   And thank you all for your comments.  
River
Senior Member
since 2003-09-16
Posts 627
my own little world
5 posted 2004-05-21 05:31 PM


hey, the words in this made me think, it's sad yes, but as a poem I don't think it had much to it. it seems more like a statement than a poem, you know? other than that it's fine. I'm sorry about your dad.

     - River

Running out of pain

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