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Dark Poetry #4
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the beach
| Dark Poetry #4 |
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the beach |
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darkness_witch Senior Member
since 2003-12-03
Posts 516Underneath |
the sound of the coarse hand of the tumbling waves as it strokes the velvet sand dances in my lonely ears. the gentle stroke on my hand from the sand reminds me of your soft hands the empty ache of the sea fills me up, until im fit to burst. the sick smell of salt and pollen makes me feel as dizzy as the thought of never getting you back the sight of the never ending ocean reminds me of the daunting thought of never being able to run away from myself and my empty lonely beach nirvana means freedom from pain, suffering and the external world. |
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| © Copyright 2004 Sophie A Ryan - All Rights Reserved | |||
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silhouetted Senior Member
since 2004-01-30
Posts 537New Zealand |
i like the last like long line about never having u back and then the flow into the beach part. i liked the beach part cuz its different, lik your little place you go to wen ur alone. i duno i prob sound odd but thats just how i saw it LOR "It would make those who listen to it doze into a land of rivers, kund fu and unicorns, eventually making the listener pe is his/her pants - Brandon B |
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Hollow_Emptiness Senior Member
since 2004-02-01
Posts 715New Zealand |
Whoa this is really.......powerful! and excellent, I liked the first line, the coarse hand stroking the velvet sand, good imagery. And the beach being your refuge and all, it was really good! Saved  "Why are my visions so unliving with dreams? And why do I no longer care?" - Stygian |
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aussie teen Member
since 2003-09-27
Posts 396Australia |
this is beautiful. i love having the beach as your central theme... keep it up.... Mel so this is me but what do you care about that???? |
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