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spritrider87
Member
since 2003-05-31
Posts 294
NH

0 posted 2004-12-22 09:04 AM


***First off i want to give a warning because i have had stuff taken off here before. i dont belive there is anything wrong or bad in this but some people might find it offensive. there is a mention of drugs and of being gay. please dont take offense as i am talking about myself.***

When do I get a chance to cry
To stop this running
Figure it all out
A chance to breath
To finally live
Let my scars heal
All this blood I've bled
Has been shed in vain
Because what I've become
Is getting to hard to tame
What rules have I forgotten
Am I even allowed to ask

How come I'm not allowed
To be who I am
You make me so ashamed
To be gay
You might not say it
But I have to be the same
And all it does
Is make me want
To run away
When you say
That I'm too screwed
To decide
Wich sex I like

You belive me when I said
I wasn't into drugs
Though you found them in my room
Its a cry for help
A flag waving in the wind
When I don't eat
And you belive what I say
And I stop taking my meds
You still belive I'm okay

What do I have to do
To get you to see
I cant always be
Okay
I cant keep this smile
Because I wont survive
Everything I do
Screames for help
But I remain silent
Because I'm always ok
Always
Forever
No more

As I look at this world and realize that I am the only one to have seen the end of all Good I let the tears out that and ask the world to see them.

© Copyright 2004 Jian Sterry - All Rights Reserved
Mysteria
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Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
1 posted 2004-12-22 12:56 PM


A very heartfelt poem.  I also happen to know how much it hurts to not have people accept you for who you are, but if it is one thing I have learned in my older age it is this.  You can only be responsible for what you feel, and your own choices and actions, not theirs.  Not too often do people change, and if they tell us who they are loud and clear we have to hear that, and try to respect them for who they are, as they are not about to change.  I know it hurts to be misunderstood, but once you find your own way in life with people you trust and do understand you, it gets better, honest.  Sometimes people never understand as they are afraid, and that is their "stuff" not yours.  

It does you good to write how you feel, if not in here, even in a journal, and eventually you get to know who you really are and love the skin you are in regardless of what anyone thinks.  I will wish that you find that peace, and also wish you a very Merry Christmas too


darkness_witch
Senior Member
since 2003-12-03
Posts 516
Underneath
2 posted 2004-12-22 08:35 PM


beautiful poem, loved it. I'm sorry to hear you're in this situation, its a toughy but I have faith you are strong enough to pull yourself out of there.

Stunning poem, had a lot of passion.

keep it up, know that whatever you post I will read.

love and empathy
sophie

merry christamas yea?

nirvana means freedom from pain, suffering and the external world.

Hollow_Emptiness
Senior Member
since 2004-02-01
Posts 715
New Zealand
3 posted 2004-12-23 12:42 PM


Hang in there my friend.
A very moving poem was written here, I'm sure that if you can write this and show us all, then as Darkness_Witch said, you are strong and can make it. You just lost your way is all.
Great, sad poem. And a Merry Christmas.

Hollow.
Courtney.

You just got to see me through another day
My body's achin' and my time is at hand
And I won't make it any other way

spritrider87
Member
since 2003-05-31
Posts 294
NH
4 posted 2004-12-30 02:07 PM


Thanks guys. i guess i am lost because peoples actions have caused me too second guess myself. i dont even know if i can trust myself anymore. but writing this out even if never gets to the people it was intended for helped....a little anyways. thanks again.

As I look at this world and realize that I am the only one to have seen the end of all Good I let the tears out that and ask the world to see them.

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