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Dark Poetry #4
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Sikanda
Member
since 2002-10-08
Posts 54


0 posted 2004-04-15 11:01 AM


I wander
all alone
surrounded
by a thick mist
of my own insecurities and doubts
darkness
drowning out my cries
I wander
not knowing
where I'll end up

but don't you dare say I am lost

I don't need you to save my soul
Don't preach to me your hate-filled doctrines
Here where I dwell love is the only law
and salvation has already been given

You don't need to shed a tear for me
put flowers on my grave -
or pray I will turn from my wicked ways

I'll earn my own way into heaven - or hell
it doesn't matter - my beliefs, my faith is my own
only god can see my innermost heart and soul

You can sit there and say that I am wrong
and I have been deceived
What I believe is wrong
and I am dancing with the devil -
communing with pure evil

but do you have the right to judge me?

"let he without sin cast the first stone"

I may wander
but I'm not lost
and the only deceiving being done
is me deceiving myself into trying to be something I'm not

My path is my own to trod
and I don't need any company on my journey
My end, is my end
my choices my own to make

I take responsibility for my actions
I will be held accountable for everything I do -
good or bad
I will not lay blame elsewhere -
say evil spirits tempted me to sin

and I'll leave you to your own way
if you'll leave me to mine

Condemn me if you feel you must
Denounce me from your pulpits
Say I am going to Hell - if I do not repent
but I have nothing I need to be forgiven for
and any hell I go too will be of my own making

I will not bow down and worship a false god -
for my god lives within me
I am Her and She is me
I to seek the Light

I am tired of having to hide -
what I am and what I believe
because I am scared
of what people might say or do
no-one would understand my feelings -

people fear what they do not know
and hate what they fear

Thank you for your concern
but I'm fine, just fine

Yes I may wander
but I'm definitely not lost!
And my faith is - I'll end up somewhere
I know I'll end up somewhere!

[This message has been edited by Sikanda (04-15-2004 12:07 PM).]

© Copyright 2004 Sikanda - All Rights Reserved
River
Senior Member
since 2003-09-16
Posts 627
my own little world
1 posted 2004-04-15 11:56 AM


It sounds like you got finger pointed at by someone who was trying to hard. to desperate. it happens a lot and I'm sorry it happened to you. People like the ones you described make me ashamed to be a part of the same, or any "religion".  but then again maybe I'm not. oh well. I hope you wander in the right direction...and if you want to talk to someone about this write or anything on your mind who's not gonna judge you or look down...or any of the things you just described...e-mail me. (if you don't that's fine too)... kryptonite@freakmusic.every1.net
and about the write in itself, i thought it was very good, you expressed your feelings in a great way, good imagery, I could see the whole thing. ok, anyways i'll ttyl.

          - River


sleep my precious slumber

Sikanda
Member
since 2002-10-08
Posts 54

2 posted 2004-04-15 12:08 PM


Just a quick note I have absolutely nothing against Christians or the Christian faith... unless of course they feel the need to "preach" to me and try to convert me. That really annoys me! But I was baptized as a Lutheran and I still have a lot beliefs from that area -- but I also have a lot of beliefs from the pagan area as well. I guess you could call me a Christo-Pagan. I'm not scared to admit that I have absolutely no idea about anything! One thing though that I believe to be absolutely true is that GOD IS LOVE and any religion that preaches love cannot be evil.


Sikanda
Member
since 2002-10-08
Posts 54

3 posted 2004-04-15 12:19 PM


*double post*
River
Senior Member
since 2003-09-16
Posts 627
my own little world
4 posted 2004-04-15 04:00 PM


ok, that's kool, i didn't think you had anything against Christians, and I agree there are things wrong with some of (us) but yeah, like i said, if there is anything you want to talk about with me... please feel free, I like to talk about it out of curiousity of what other people think. I kindove try to keep an open mind...you know what I'm saying? ok, ttyl.

    - River

sleep my precious slumber

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